British Invasion: One Direction Enters The Studio With Justin Bieber

For those of you who don’t exist primarily on a Tumblr dashboard, One Direction is a British-Irish boyband born from the bowels of The X Factor. It consists of five adorable fetuses, each one fulfilling his “cute guy” role for a rabid, enthusiastic fanbase.

What? What? What?, you say. Boybands?! I thought we were done with those when O-Town didn’t work out.

You were wrong, buddy. So so wrong. Boybands are back! And One Direction is leading the charge. Their debut single “What Makes You Beautiful” is probably the lonely Internet’s national anthem. I stand and put my hat to my chest whenever I hear it.

And there’s more to come! It was announced today that One Direction is entering the studio with Justin Bieber, North America’s saintly prince of the Timberlake musical reincarnation throne. (Seriously, have you heard ‘Boyfriend’? He’s gunning for it hard.)

If you see tween girls just openly vomiting rainbows on the streets today, this is why.

Once again, the US falls victim to outsourcing! Perfectly good AMERICAN teenage boys who can sing and dance mild choreography in a V formation are being passed over in favor of these UK imports. Where is your God now, Lou Pearlman?!?!

Speaking with the expertise of someone who saw ‘Nsync in concert four times, we are screwed. Orlando, Florida hasn’t produced a worthy boyband in a decade and because we’ve been so lax as a nation, One Direction is taking over America. The British are coming.

Get ready to start pronouncing “schedule” weirdly again. Sigh.

P.S.: I know nothing about these boys but I always assume the one with the curly hair is up to something. He looks sneaky. TC mark

image – SomeoneLikeU

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  • https://twitter.com/#!/nvvmxac danne rassle

    so i guess TC was officially  taken over by nickelodeon 

    • Anonymous

      I wish. They’re a Viacom company. We’d be making so much more money.

      • beatrice

        Viacom, seriously? You guys would sell your souls to viacom? God no!

  • Nishant

    Hmm. Maybe I’ll see the video. Find out what all the fuss is about. 

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My eyes! Oh god, my eyes!

    • ana gaby matz

      My ears, oh god my ears!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/AllanStruthers Allan.S

    This is what happens when you take two pieces of dog shit and mush them together.

    • http://twitter.com/MissKimball misskimball

      five pieces of dogshit

      • http://twitter.com/MissKimball misskimball

        sorry, six pieces of dogshit

      • http://twitter.com/AllanStruthers Allan.S

        I’m treating one direction as 5 pieces of dog shit that have already been mushed together as one bigger piece of dog shit here. 
        I mean, it’s not like they’ve each got individual personalities or anything. They’re just one big, turgid conglomerate of numbingly bland dog crap.
        And don’t even get me started on Justin.

  • Lolatmylife

    THIS SO WEIRD….I mean really fucking weird. I’m British, we had ‘One Direction’ for a long time and of all the talent we did not see them breaking the USA. Adele okay fair enough, bitch can sing and she’s likable …One Direction only know each other because Simon Cowell masterminded the whole thing roughly three years ago, there’s no ‘Four lads from Liverpool’ aspect here so ‘The Beatles’ comparisons are making us cringe while see Channel E reports…

    • Anonymous

      Any Beatles comparison is strictly tongue in cheek. But yeah, most UK friends have told me One Direction’s crossover has been totally surreal. I get it though — they’re all adorable and Bieber grew up and left a place open for a band exactly like this. They got lucky with timing.

      • Lolatmylife

        Hahaha, they are cute …and as long as Hunger Games, Twilight, Bieber and One Direction keep my little 14year old cousin in the house on friday night instead of experiencing douchebags and alcohol too early I guess its all good.

      • Nishant

        Hunger Games? Twilight? Bieber? One Direction?

        You would do THAT to your 14 year old cousin instead? O.o

      • beatrice

        Okay so what about the good old fashioned harry potter? 

  • sophia

    I just want to know if they all have parental consent and all, having a bonfire on the beach after 10p.m. with members of the opposite sex.

    Where’d the beau gosse get the keys to the bus? lemme see a permit …lad.

  • Bealtaine

    On the curly haired one- his hair is  so big because it’s full of *secrets*…:P

    • Anonymous

      4 FOR YOU.

  • rose georgia

    i really wish i could say that i don’t know which one direction member i would fancy if i was 16, and that i didn’t google ‘justin bieber’s ex-girlfriends’ today. 

    i didn’t get the whole boyband thing when i was young, i was prime spice girls age. a little too young for ‘nsync and backstreet boys, waaay too young for take that and new kids on the block. girl power! do i get it now? no, i’m just procrastinating writing my dissertation/revising for finals… right?

    • Anonymous

      The vaguely ethnic one with the gauges. Duh.

      • Aww Yeahhh

        We have the same taste, I see :)

      • rose georgia

        hell yeah. i’m glad i’m not the only one who would call him ‘vaguely ethnic’. guess they couldn’t commit to someone full on. 

        i watched some of the other videos and i think that the stylist has decided to make them each have their own unique hairstyle, a bit like how the spice girls had nicknames. curly’s hair only gets bigger and curlier, a sort of white diana ross look, and vaguely ethnic’s quiff skyrockets. the blonde one is still blonde which seems to be the only distinctive thing about him.

  • Justin

    Sometimes, I don’t think the blonde one knows the words. Just an observation.

    • Guest

      Yeah, blondie seems unsure.

  • rose georgia

    why do none of their trousers fit properly?

    • Sophia

      Haha, going back and watching it, noticing this, and I can’t stop laughing.

  • Anonymous

    *throws hands into the air*

    I give up.

  • ro

    I knew it! The British are coming!!!

  • Sophia

    Confession: I’m actually addicted to this song. It’s like crack cocaine for my ears.

  • Anonymous

    R.I.P Nsync
    The pain still feels fresh.  

  • AK

    Ok is it wrong to quite like this song! It’s catchy! Oh god. I’m still a teenager trapped inside a 24-year-old. And I really like the boy in the white tee.. who is he? He look adorable at 1:06! Too cute! Argh! I need help!

    • AK

       looks*

  • beatrice

    Okay..let’s look pass one direction and look instead at the atrocity of “The Wanted”. Whoever decided to create a disgusting adult british boyband was pretty much an evil genius.

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  • Ralphy

    Literally not a single one of these boys is a convincing heterosexual. Oh, the boy bands.

  • claire

    now that’s weird. one direction on thought catalog.
    they’re literally everywhere. o_o

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