We are often told that the best way to go through life is with our hearts wide open. Opening ourselves to new experiences is meant to be this amazing process where we grow closer to our own self. That if we do not open ourselves completely and unselfishly, we will be doing others (and in turn, ourselves) a disservice in developing truly genuine relationships. But how can we do this when the individual we are opening ourselves up to rejects everything we put in front of them?
After opening up and becoming vulnerable, we are forced to reflect on the reasons behind them pushing us away. A million thoughts go through our head and we go over our actions repeatedly. And often, the first thing that comes into our mind is this: Maybe we shouldn’t have let them see so much so quickly.
If you’re looking for me to tell you that they shouldn’t matter and they didn’t deserve all the wonderful qualities you had to offer, then I can confirm that this statement is indeed true. However, it doesn’t make the fact that you now feel as though someone has taken your heart that you so freely offered and put it through an emotional grinder.
Even though we may believe this in our most rational moments, it is the irrationality that dominates our thoughts that we dread. We question our actions and thoughts constantly, entering a spiral of self-doubt and unhappiness, wondering why, thinking how and jumping to conclusions or what could have been.
All I can tell you is that if you’ve opened your heart and if you have put everything you have into someone or something but did not achieve the desired outcome, it will be ok.
Similar to an external wound, closing yourself completely and not giving your heart time to heal will make the pain worse. So close yourself off for a bit. Let your heart recover.
But in time, start opening yourself little by little. And your heart will not just heal, but regenerate. And you will gain the strength to love and let another person in. It may not be in the same way or following a similar process. Or going through the same door that was open before. But, it will find a way. I promise.