Thank You For Proving To Me That I Deserve Better

I tend to give too much to others. I tend to fix things, even when they are not mine to do so. I tend to pour every ounce of energy I have into someone or something just to say I did. I even tend to do whatever I can to make someone happy, even when my happiness is jeopardized. I like to think of myself as someone who tries to see the good in others, even when they do everything to show me otherwise.

And you were no exception. I met you unexpectedly. Yet when we met, everything came so naturally. From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted you in my life. Everything fell together so perfectly after that. Our chemistry was undeniable, both as friends and as more. You were the first thing that felt right in a long time.

Instantly, we opened up with one another. You told me the inner demons you were facing on a daily basis, and in return, I decided to fight them with you. I was there for you every time you needed me to be. I talked to you countless times, telling you everything was going to be okay with time.

We weren’t official, but I didn’t need the title to know that we were right for each other at the time.

Yet, you hurt me on multiple occasions. It became a game of tug of war when it came to us. You pushed me away one day and pulled me in the next. Nevertheless, I stood by you. I cared about you so much that there came a point where I put your happiness above my own.

A couple of weeks ago, I thought things were going to be different. I heard you apologize to my face for the first time—for everything. At that moment, I looked at you and thought things would be different with us. However, it wasn’t long before you surprised me and went back to your old ways.

Well, you have hurt me for the last time. I am done being your emotional punching bag.

I have to thank you for the lessons you have taught me, though. You have taught me that there is nothing wrong with giving someone your absolute all. I gave everything I could, and I can walk away knowing that this does not fall on me. It falls on you. You hurt someone who gave you the entire world.

You have taught me to not put up with one-sided love. I constantly was at your disposal, coming back to you when you decided that I was what you wanted. I realized I deserve someone that is sure of me, not someone who is back and forth with me.

You taught me to stop trying to fix everything, just to have it torn down again. There comes to a point when something has been fixed and ruined so much that there is no other option but to stop trying.

Yet, despite it all, I want to thank you. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have realized that there is nothing wrong with me but everything wrong with you.

About the author
I just write about shit that happens. Follow Gabbi on Instagram or read more articles from Gabbi on Thought Catalog.

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