I am drunk-writing this letter from the past.
I just came from a very exhausting week and thought it best to sizzle things down with a bottle of wine alone in a small room I rented, in a flat from an unknown province, in a country I know no one from.
As of this moment, I am still young and exploring life’s classic ups and downs. You must be living the life while reading this and somehow stumbled through this letter because you need something to remind you of just how far you got. Also, you need a reminder that at least once in your life, you were caught in between crossroads and you simply do not know what to do, who to turn to, what to believe in, and not knowing if you can ever survive.
Whenever you feel scared to try something new, I want you to look back on the day you were brave enough to decide what you really want for yourself. It was the same day you left your comfort zone and the people who no longer made you grow. You contemplated it for days and even shed tears for the fear of what’s yet to come yet. Have you noticed how it became your life’s turning point?
That’s right. All those endless debates in your head eventually faded as you learned to adjust. It took you months to finally make peace with what you decided, yet you ended up being fine. You always do — remember that.
If ever you are feeling disrespected by someone, think about the day you got outrageous with your boss and decided to talk back. It will surely give you a good laugh, but also it will make you figure out how you got around to make them treat you a little more nicely. Always know your worth.
Or if you are at that point where you worry that everything you worked for is falling apart, be reminded of the time you unexpectedly lost the only job that sustained you. How you stretched your budget just so you can get through the days you were jobless. How you looked desperate at every job interview you attended. How you have to trim down your lifestyle in order to afford only the essentials.
That was sad, indeed. Yet you managed to move on, get a new job, and start again from scratch. Remember you can only fall a few times in life but you can always stand up eight times stronger. Be still and know that this, too, shall pass.
Plenty of times, you also went questioning your faith every time things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to. You might still sometimes. But the thing is, every ungranted wish propelled you to bigger opportunities – so much bigger than what you asked for. This alone is enough proof that His plans are always better than yours. So no matter how hard times are right now, always keep the faith.
We lose people along the way, and the excruciating pain will be incomparable to anything you’ve ever experienced, but know that this is the way of life. Always remember that life is short, so you’ve got to give it your best shot. Live it with no regrets, love and cherish those who are still with you, and whisper a prayer for those who have departed. Always be kind, no matter what your status is currently right now. Always humble yourself.
I am writing this all the way from year nineteen-forgotten because I know that despite how far you’ve come now, there will still be overwhelming days when you’ll cry in silence in your room. Before you even get the chance to give up, know that you’ve been through worse and whatever you are in right now will eventually go away.
You are a brave heart, remember that.
With love from years back,
Your younger self