This Is How I Know It’s Real

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Gus Moretta / Unsplash

I always thought I already have an idea about what makes a relationship work. I’ve gone to plenty of dates only to find out that while some guys mentally fit the image of a happy couple, they were never ideal to begin with. Something always doesn’t feel right so I just let things come and go until I stumbled into you. You found me when I was close to believing that in this world of modern dating it is impossible to find the real thing.

I am my clumsy and crazy best self when I am with you. It doesn’t matter if I rant nonstop about not being able to fall asleep easily at night or being hungry again five minutes after I just had my last meal – you’d still be there providing solutions to my pointless problems. Doesn’t matter if I piss you off when I’m drunk – you’d still be there finishing the last glass with me. Doesn’t matter if I trip in every block – you’d still be there laughing like it is what made your day. No doubt you are my best friend’s male version.

I cannot begin to explain how you make me feel secured regardless if we are miles away from each other. It’s not just with how you voluntarily tell me your agenda or how you manage to sneak in a quick call if something comes up. Mainly, it’s about how you treat me constantly whether we are together or not. You are always consistent with your actions; my brain doesn’t even get the chance to speculate on anything. You have won my trust in a way that my heart never goes to panic mode whenever we don’t communicate for longer hours or if you come home late to hang out with friends – male or female.

You support my independence yet don’t neglect to assure me how I always have you as a backup even if that means you fall under second option. We each have our goals in life even before we met and not once did you try to force me into going against my plans just so you can accommodate yours. We always talk about the future with faith that someday, our plans will align regardless of how unparallel they run in the present.

You prioritize me even on the simplest moments and that makes a huge difference. You put down your phone and even disregard a live football match when I am with you. You are always present and not once did you make me feel that you are bored of my company even if I napped too many times on the passenger’s seat while you’re driving during our endless road trips.

I know you trust me when you let me into insider jokes exclusive to your mates. And I find it hilariously attractive how fun of a person you are not only with me when we tend to joke around annoyingly but also around your friends. This and all the other secrets we share comes comfortably natural that no lame joke will ever feel upsetting, except of course the cheesy ones which we always find too late to take back.

The idea of couples happily celebrated over social media used to be my thing until I realized how much I enjoy our privacy. We are more carefree when away from prying eyes and I’ve never been so stress-free. I also like the idea that it is only us who knows about special moments I know we’ll both treasure forever.

Not once did you make me feel you are superior in this relationship despite you making 90% of the effort to keep us going. I always feel that I am your equal. You have no idea how much it touches my heart everytime you subtly include me in your future plans like it is where I belong.

You are sensitively adaptive to my feelings that pretending to be okay when I’m truly not is just a waste of effort. More often, you skip asking the classic ‘What’s wrong?’ and utter a quick explanation following an apology when you know it’s your action that caused my mood change.

I found a team in you. You know how to extend help in a way that won’t make me feel more helpless. Despite me owning to my problems as something personal, you see to it that I don’t go through it alone. You make hard times bearable. Knowing I have you at the end of the day no matter what happens, makes things bearable.

Your views about things that matter are humbly compassionate in that, you don’t only consider facts but also put your heart in what you decide to believe in. You respect my opinion about something yet do not sugar coat things when we tend to have opposite views. I simply admire how our discussions are with sense. Moreover, I admire how kind you treat people regardless of their stance in life.

You are millennial old school. You spoil me with adventures because you believe time spent together is more valuable than any material things. This doesn’t only apply to me but to everyone you care about. You taught me how to watch people and focus in the moment so as not to be disrespectful. I later on find myself observing which friends really wanted to bond when we’re out together and which ones are just there for the sake of being present when they’re truly not.

I am finding more about myself when I am with you. Some qualities I even don’t know existed in me. I became bolder yet considerate. More of a risk taker yet very positive. I have come to love myself more with you teaching me to embrace whatever it is that life surprises me with. On top of worries, you are always there to assure me I needed to go through something to grow and that you will always be there by my side through it all.

While I am sure that I am yet to find plenty more reasons to treasure what we have, I am already at peace knowing people like you still exist.

It might have taken me months to gather my thoughts about this but yes, I never did understand what matured relationship is like until you proved to me over time that what we have is the real thing. TC mark

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