If You’re Trying To Heal From A Broken Heart, Read This

We’ve all been on the receiving end of a heartbreak. It sucks, doesn’t it? When you did your best but they still walked away for some reason that you can’t possibly figure out because you genuinely believed things were working out fine. Or that they made you feel special and gave you hopes of having a life together. Or maybe you are too hooked on the idea of having a relationship that you didn’t pay attention to the red flags.

For whatever reason, can you stop blaming yourself for what’s happened and instead get up, forgive yourself, and do the work that healing requires? Can you stop dwelling on the could haves and should haves and instead face the reality that what should’ve been could’ve already been? Can you stop focusing on the person who hurt you and instead find ways to move forward?

Now, let me clarify this. Moving on doesn’t mean looking for someone else to be with. It’s not about jumping into another relationship when you have yet to resolve your brokenness. No, it’s not about distracting yourself by dating other people just to cover up your pains. It’s about facing all the ugliness of a breakup and healing from it.

Let yourself feel all the emotions that come from a painful experience and breathe them out in the air, release them from your being. It’s okay to sulk for a while, but choose to stand back up and continue life without them. Face this new road you are about to take. This time, it’s just you thriving alone and finding yourself again, along with your balance and your happiness.

So how do you heal from a broken heart?

You acknowledge that you are hurt.

You have to let yourself grieve. Oftentimes, after a breakup, we choose to go on with our daily routines. It almost feels like there’s no time to let ourselves feel sad and acknowledge our pain. We bulldoze through it because we have a lot of other things going on. We need to go to work, or attend to our family, or finish a job before a certain deadline, and we just can’t afford to sit alone and face our hurts. And then we realize it has been a long time since the breakup but somehow we still feel stuck and aren’t able to move on.

Take some time off to vibe alone, reflect, and face your circumstance. That way, you’re able to feel the pain and not hide it or try to avoid it.

You accept that they are gone.

It’s hard to face the reality that their role in your life is done. If only you could change their mind and make them stay. But unfortunately, it’s not your call to make. You have to learn how to let people go. How to stop holding on to what’s already gone. How to stop fighting for the relationship that is now over. Not being able to accept the fact that they are now a part of your past is what prolongs your process of moving on. There are people in our lives that are meant to stay, and there are some that are meant to pass by and teach us lessons. But both are blessings.

Believe that things happen for a reason and have faith that it’s always for the best, even if you don’t see it that way. There’s far more than what we know and what we are able to see and comprehend.

You choose to get on with life and never look back.

You choose to just continue walking, find yourself again, and pursue the things that make you happy. It’s the new beginning that scares us. A life without the person we once thought would stay. But understand that choosing to move on equals choosing yourself, your own happiness and sense of being. You can’t continue seeking validation from others. You can’t define your worth through them or the amount of love they could offer. Instead, you establish it on your own. You work on your confidence and slowly build it from within. You have to be able to train your mind to focus on the good things ahead of you and bring those lessons from the past to be your guide as you go through the present and into the future.

The thought of starting over again is terrifying. But it’s either you hope for something that is not coming back or believe there’s a better life waiting for you on the other side.

Healing is a process of ups and downs, highs and lows. One day you’ll wake up feeling good, the next day you might wake up feeling the exact opposite. But keep pushing through, even on the days you don’t feel like it. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t let this pain be the end of your story. You deserve a happy ending, and you will only get it if you are able to believe it. Because when you believe in something, you act towards it until it becomes your reality.

About the author
Empowering women. Inspiring people. Follow Francesca on Instagram or read more articles from Francesca on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related