Your first love is unlike any other experience in your life. I mean, just look around – movies have been made about it, songs sung, poems written. It’s magical and dizzying and confusing and wild and entirely all-consuming. And it should be.
Our first love holds us in its clutches longer than it should. Even after things have gone bad, we’re trying to find our way back to those first perfect gorgeous moments when we were entirely sure this was the love we would have for the rest of our lives. Because we finally found it. We were finally found. For the first time, we knew what everyone was talking about when they talked about love.
There’s something romantic about it, right? To be able to say I’ve only loved you. It’s a beautiful idea but for most of us, it doesn’t work out that way. And that’s okay. Past the grief of losing your first love and the stunning realization that loving someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be with them is something else – your second love.
Second love doesn’t get enough credit. Think about how brave you have to be to be willing to love someone after your first love, after your heart was broken. You’re more guarded now. With first love, you fall in headfirst. With second love, you pace the perimeter. You consider your options. You try to convince yourself out of it. You take your time. You remember how it felt to lose your first love and wonder if you could bear going through that again.
And despite all of that – despite the odds and the possible heartbreak and the potential for disaster – you still choose your second love. You know how badly it could end but you’re still willing to risk it.
With your second love, you’re older. You’re less idealistic. You’re less prone to romantic idolization. You’re more logical. You’re more level-headed. You’re more ready for love, because you’ve already seen it firsthand.
I know it sounds sad to let go of the romantic ideals of your first love and come to grips with the realities of loving another person. And in a way, it is. You’ll never be as carefree and sure as you were with your first love. But now, you’re looking into the face of that risk and still deciding that second love is worth it. And I think that’s really powerful. Cheers to your second love.