11 Things To Do When You Feel Anxious As Hell

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1. Reread your favorite book. Mark every sentence you love. Let the ink from your pen blend into your skin.

2. Take a long shower. Forget to wash the shampoo out of your hair. Take another shower.

3. Call your mother. Ask if she has any new family gossip to tell you. Listen. Forget about your own problems.

4. Watch a ridiculous but perfect T.V. show like Gossip Girl or One Tree Hill. Catch yourself reciting the lines. Wish the show had never ended.

5. Take yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Don’t worry about eating alone. Bring a book to read or stash your headphones in your pocket so you can listen to a podcast. Or just sit.

6. Drive to the cheap burrito place down the road. Pay $4 for the best bean and cheese burrito you’ve ever had. Reaffirm your belief that the cheaper a burrito, the better it tastes.

7. Go to a really chill yoga class where you basically just lay around and switch positions every 10 minutes. Fall asleep. Wake up with your yoga mat pattern pressed into your face.

8. Write bad poetry. Delete it. Write more bad poetry. Keep it.

9. Make a pot of coffee. Remember that it isn’t going to help your anxiety. Put the coffee in the fridge. Drink it iced tomorrow.

10. Go to Costco. Buy an absurd amount of La Croix and frozen fruit. Grab a piece of pizza on the way out.

11. Call your best friend. Ask her to come over. Watch a movie that has less than a 50% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Laugh un-ironically at the slapstick jokes. Breathe.