I hate those times when I hear myself say, “Man, I hate how people think of me”.
At times, when I’m supposed to say, “Man, I hate how I think about what other people think of me.”
I have been desperately dragging myself out of the shame hole which always traps me every time I want to do something that is out of norm; something I don’t usually do but when I do people start to notice; something that doesn’t restrict itself within the bounds of mediocrity; something that is weird for others but perfectly fine for me. Those are the things I want to do but have little to no courage in doing so because I’m afraid of what others might think of me.
And looking back, I cant help but think, how many chances did we waste just cause it doesn’t fit our parent’s choice? How many people we’ve turned down just cause our friends don’t like them? How many opportunities did we waste just cause it’s not that big of a chance and people might think that we’re desperate? And more importantly, how many times did we let other people decide for our happiness just cause that’s what we think is right?
Sometimes, I feel like my happiness is directly proportional to the validation I get from other people which means to say, the more people validate my worth, the happier I get. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that but I feel like it’s becoming of me. And I’m not happy about it because, you see, not only my happiness is becoming dependent on someone else’s validation of my existence; this habit is also an act of self-defeat.
It’s not always people validate your worth or even your existence, some people tend to do the opposite. And what happens when people do the opposite? Well, according to the direct proportionality, your happiness might just swing down to the pitfall of self-worthlessness and self-pity. And that’s how it becomes self-defeating.
The problem is not visible in plain sight. We are blind to see this.
We tend to let other people define us; validate us; and in turn take control of our happiness. We rely much on compliments to measure our worth instead of pep talking ourselves in the mirror saying, “I am worthy of it. Every bit of it is worthy of me”. We are very particular on other people’s concept of us, rather than creating our own. We are conscious of our physical appearance just cause our society had set a standard that is generally accepted by many. We tend to be timid and shy in front of other people because you think first impressions last, rather than showing the real you and be just as transparent as you could.
We have to stop letting other people validate our own worth because we will never realize our real worth if we keep basing it on other people’s judgment. In the same manner, we have to stop looking for our worth like in the game word-scramble because we will never find it, our real worth lies within us.
Remember this: People, no matter how good or bad you are, will always have something to say. And everything that is being served on your plate isn’t going to taste good. In the same way, what you say isn’t always going to please other people. To hell with what other people think of you. So go on, continue doing whatever it is that you are doing, no matter how weird or ludicrous other people think of it, as long as it makes you happy and as long as you don’t compromise other people’s welfare. Go on, make that choice; talk to that person; take that opportunity, and most importantly, be your own happiness.