I Don’t Want Forever

I’m not after my forever.

Not right now, anyway.

I’m far too busy to ponder my ending when I’m still excited for today.

I’m seeking the people who excite me, who ground me yet lift me up to another world, another adventure.

Who will shape me and mold me and make me better, stronger.

I don’t need my forever right now.

A new place.

A new scene.

A new song.

I want to see all that I want to see and figure out where I belong.

All I dream of, envision, yearn for.

How can I give forever if I don’t know where that will be?

I haven’t found my forever place, my forever dream.

I’m still becoming the perfect me.

I’m still understanding this world, the people, the cultures, the design.

I’m still seeking the new, the undiscovered.

I’m still learning that I have so much to learn.

How can I start my forever if I’ve only just learned how to be alone?

So I can’t promise you forever, but I can promise you today, right now.

I can’t promise you a picket fence, but I can promise you laughs and adventures and discovery.

I’m learning me and you’re learning you. How exciting.

I can give you my dreams, my thoughts, my hopes and fears.

I can tell you about my family, and my story, and my favourite color or movie, but I’m still finding my next path, where I’m off to next.

I can’t give you forever, but I can give you these moments.

I’ll give you silly faces and shopping trips and ice cream in the dark.

I can give you songs sung in the moonlight, high as a kite, and walking hand in hand in the park.

I can’t promise you forever, but I’ll give you my heart to hold for now.

Nights in under the covers and Uber Eats and cheap beer while you tell me your darkest fears, who you are underneath, and I listen.

You don’t have to promise me forever, and I don’t expect that from you. But these moments are enough, right now, with you.

I don’t want forever. Not right now, not yet.

I’m busy in the world researching where to go next.

I can’t promise anyone forever—not for now, anyway.

But I can promise right now wont be boring if you stay.

Don’t think about the forever—that’s a whole lifetime ahead

Just think about right now, and live it instead.

About the author
Writing the Obvious for the Oblivious Follow Fia Betina on Instagram or read more articles from Fia Betina on Thought Catalog.

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