10 Things That Happen When You Appear Tough To Others But Are Actually A Huge Softie


As an older sibling I grew up hearing stories about how tough I was on my little brother, earning me the nickname of “Scar” (from the Lion King for those of you who are too old to remember).

After my parents divorce – when I was only seven – I decided that I had to grow up and see life for what it really was. It was that time period that really shaped my tough-cookie exterior – that hid a soft inside that not many people got to see from that point onward.

Those of us who can identify with the tough-exterior/soft-interior personality know how hard it is to find people who will give us a second chance and not immediately write us off as “mean” or a straight up bitch. Here are ten things that happen to everyone who appears tough but is actually mushy inside.

1. If you died, “sweet” and “caring” would never be words people would use to describe you.
Alright this is a little morbid, but hear me out. You are more likely to be described as “loyal”, “persistent”, “trustworthy” and even “sincere” and there’s nothing wrong with that.

2. People are often surprised by your random acts of kindness. I’ve had a handful of friends act shocked if I go out of my way to help someone. Just because you don’t go around reposting gofundme links on Facebook, doesn’t mean you don’t donate to your favorite cause, help an old person out with their groceries or ask a stranger if you can help if they look lost around the city.

3. Others often think of you as a pessimist. I can never walk out of a movie with my friends and say things like “ that would never happen”. You choose to take the more realistic approach in life because of your need to protect your mushy side. You know how much you would actually suffer if you dove head first without thinking things through.

4. Your friends ask for your opinion because you don’t sugar-coat. Because of your tough exterior, people look up to how resilient you can be in complicated situations. They want to know how you would deal with their problems, because they know you would take the more rational approach in order to avoid getting your feelings hurt. You love them for trusting you and are always willing to give them advice.

5. First impressions are not always positive, but you’ve made life-long friends who would take a bullet for you. Those who stuck around long enough know that you are one of kind and someone they can rely on for whatever they might be going through. From 3 am phone calls, to being the DD on the day you took a hard exam and wanted to celebrate, they know you are never too busy for them.

6. You can’t handle PDA, but can be a huge sap when it’s just the two of you. If you’re dating someone like me and you’ve reached this stage, congratulations! You’re one of the very few who’ll get to see this side of us.

7. You may not talk about feelings out loud, but you keep a journal/ write music lyrics/ make art. We express our mushy side in different ways a lot of people may not even know about.

8. People who are worth keeping in your life will work for it. You only truly open yourself up to people who put in the effort to get to know you as much as you do to them. You want that deep connection with people, but only those who are willing to build it with you.

9. You probably don’t give off the baby/puppy –obsessed person vibe, but you secretly love watching funny vines that often include those two (and probably spend too much time doing so)

10. You’ve come to terms to how you deal with life because in the long run it has protected you. Looking back you know you’ve talked yourself out of many toxic relationships, and you don’t think you could have done that without the armour you proudly wear.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Talents include drinking wine, overanalyzing trivial life events and avoiding adulthood.

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