Why is dating so tiresome? Everyone I talk to about this agrees—we’re all exhausted! We all keep having the same date over and over again, the only difference is that each time it’s with someone new. Oftentimes, finding the right partner becomes a chore and occasionally turns into an obsession. You don’t mean for it to turn into this debilitating, disabling duty, but it happens. Once you’re in that dark place, it can be difficult to find your way out.
You must be asking yourself, “How do I know if I’m there? And more importantly, how do I get the heck out?” Worry not! Getting out of this is quite easy if you’re willing to make one tough decision. Just stop dating for a bit while you put your priorities in check.
Here are a few reasons why it may be time to take a break from dating.
1. You’re doing it to fit in.
We’ve all been there. Being the only single one in your clan stinks. You don’t get invited to couples night. If you do, you go home heavy-hearted, feeling like it was a pity invite. Doing it to fit in is never a good reason. I know it sounds cliché, but loving yourself first is so much more important than finding someone so that you’re not the third wheel anymore.
2. You feel like you can’t be alone.
Loneliness is real, and although it’s a completely valid excuse to put yourself out there and date, is it possible that you could take this time for yourself to truly learn about you? Could it be possible that instead of focusing on finding Mr. Right, you learn how to be Ms. Right for yourself? Just think about if you truly know yourself and if you truly know what you want out of this life. Really think about it and see if dating right weighs more heavily. Chances are that it doesn’t. Solitude can be a beautiful thing. Learn to embrace it.
3. You’re getting pressure from family.
If you come from an ethnic background, like me, you know how real pressure from family can be. It’s not easy to explain to grandma why no one has asked for your hand in marriage yet. Don’t give in to the pressure. Work at your own pace and know that if you need a break from all of this, it’s okay. Your family will probably always have something to say anyway. Just ignore it and do you.
4. You’re still young.
You go to the park and see all the mamas with their babies and your ovaries start doing cartwheels inside of you. Who says you can’t have a baby later in life? Who says that the next guy you’ll meet will be the right man to have a baby with? Take it slow. Time isn’t running out as much as you think it is.
5. You want to be able to post cute, couple-y things on social media.
Of course you want to do this. We all do! Call me crazy, but most of the things that people are posting on the Gram aren’t actual representations of what their lives are IRL, so chill. You’ll get your chance to do this.
6. You’re bored.
Go out with friends. Pick up a new hobby. Get ripped at the gym. Write that book. You being bored has nothing to do with being single.
7. You’re trying to get over someone.
I know many say this helps, but you know what else helps? Not jumping into something new. Healing takes time, and you can’t heal properly if you’re trying to forget someone by using someone else.
8. You think a relationship will help your self-esteem.
No amount of dating will ever help how you feel about yourself. If anything, the endless dating rut that we all seem to be in does wonders for our self-loathing. You’re not undateable and you do not need to go on 30 dates a month to know that you’re not.
9. You’re convinced you’re going to die alone.
It’s going to happen for you. If not now, maybe later. Think about where you were a year ago and think about where you are now. Things change heaps in one year. The bottom line is that just because you’re single now doesn’t mean you’re going to die alone. Take a break from that mentality. It’s silly.
10. You think it will make you happier.
Think about any relationship you’ve ever had. Were you always happy? Of course not! You had fights and there were tears and words and meltdowns. Relationships are great, but they don’t always make you happy. Find happiness in the people you love being around and in the things you like doing.