With Valentine’s Day coming up, or Single Awareness Day as I like to call it, people will ask you what plans you have for the special day. When you groan an almost inaudible “nothing,” people will ask you why and then you’ll be forced to explain that your lack of plans is all due to your singlehood.
It’s a painful time of the year, kids.
The problem isn’t so much that people ask, it’s more the responses you get after telling them that you’re single and plan-less. People look at you with puppy eyes and tell you not to worry because you’ll find someone soon enough or worse they’ll make comments like ” Oh, I can’t believe you’re single. You’re so pretty” because singleness only happens to ugly people, right? When people ask why you’re single and plan-less on this Valentine’s day, choose one of these as a response, but say them with a smile.
You’re not bitter, you’re just fed up with these dumb questions about your love life.
1. “I’m single because I want to be.”
Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy. We all have friends, hobbies, and jobs that fill our lives with plenty of positivity! The happiness that eating chocolate and maybe get roses could bring is minuscule in comparison to the happiness we have on a day to day basis. Also, I can buy my own darn chocolates.
2. “I’m waiting for Drake to ask me out.”
This will probably get a laugh, but everyone knows that you’re secretly very serious about this. Drake is hot and if you’re going to be spending Valentine’s day with anyone, it should be with the one and only Champagnepapi.
3. “What’s it to ya?”
Stand your ground, girl! People are imprudent sometimes and ask questions that aren’t appropriate. It’s ok for you to feel like not answering and it’s ok for you to flat out ask them why they care so much. Perhaps you’re teaching someone a valuable lesson of what’s ok and not ok to ask.
4. “I’d prefer to have a date with myself.”
Mani/Pedi, yummy takeout, wine, and trash TV versus going out, with some guy to a crowded restaurant to eat overpriced risotto? I’ll take myself on a date, thank you very much. You’re saving money and you’re saving yourself the trouble of having to buy sexy lingerie to impress someone.
5. “Valentine’s day is every day.”
Why do I need a whole day to tell someone that I love them? Shouldn’t that be an everyday thing? Perhaps this answer will help the person take a good hard look at what is truly important in a relationship.
6. “I’m concentrating on my career.”
I’m going to make money move on Valentine’s Day, so I can hit the store for some red bottoms and you know I will be listening to my girl Cardi B while that happens.
7. “How’s your relationship going?”
Cause if you have the guts to ask me about something so personal, I’ll just have to do it right back. Ask this with a smile, knowing that you have just made that person feel really self-conscious about their own romantic life. Also, revenge is sweet.