Ah, first dates. Fun-filled moments with a stranger you may possibly fall in love with. At least that’s what they should be. If we’re being real, though, first dates shouldn’t be called first dates. They should be called awkward encounters of the romantic kind, because that’s exactly what they are. They’re impossibly awkward and they’re even more awkward when you make it a point to be awkward (looking at you, millennials). Let’s not be negative, though. Not all first dates are complete crud . Some are fantastic, but there’s always that one awkward moment, no matter how on top of your game you are, that makes you want to die. Here are some of those moments.
1. Getting up to go to the restroom
Your date is going superbly. You have a ton in common, but you’re also different enough so that it keeps things interesting. You’re all smiles, he’s all laughs. You’re feeling the warm and fuzzies and then it hits you and you think ” Damn, I have to pee”. You excuse yourself, which is super awkward as it is, because now you’re imagining that he’s imagining you sitting on the toilet, and let’s be real, peeing just isn’t cute. You, in the most suave way possible, get up to go visit the potty. You know he’s staring at your butt and you’re suddenly very aware of how it must look to him. You’re just a few steps from the bathroom and BAM! You trip on something. You’re mortified, of course, but you don’t look back, because if he’s laughing at you, you’ll probably burst into tears. Going to the bathroom has never been this emotionally draining.
2. You arrive late
You know that this date has a 50% chance of ending badly, but if you’re running late the chances seem even greater. Five minutes isn’t so bad, but if you’re pushing anywhere from 30-60 minutes late, well, maybe just don’t show up. It’s so rude to be late anywhere, but late on a first date? You’ve just lost points in the respect department that you’ll never recover.
Why must we eat on first dates? Seriously, whoever invented eating on first dates was a sadist. The fact that you can spill food on your clothes, get something stuck in your teeth, get a random allergic reaction to something, get food poisoning, or completely hate what you ordered, but eat it anyway-and gag with every bite- is complete torture! Eating on first dates is like trying to run a marathon on a broken foot. Just don’t do it.
4. Make up issues
Again, there’s a 50% chance that this will go well and that there will be a kiss goodnight. If that’s the case, you will regret wearing that bright-ass red lipstick. If there isn’t a kiss, you’ll be hating life because, well, red lips look good on you.
So much can go wrong when alcohol is involved. First, if he doesn’t drink and you do, there’s a chance you’ll get drunk and screw up. If you both drink, there’s a good chance you’ll both screw and if the waiter comes by and asks if you’d like another and he quickly answers no and asks for the check, then you already know that you’re screwed, so you might as well keep drinking. Alcohol in moderation, kids.
You forget to wear a nice pair, or you wear a nice pair for no reason.
7. Long Silences
Sometimes you can’t find a common interest and things get quiet. This is awkward, but silence a great way to gauge what’s important to you in a date.
Maybe you found lots to talk about, but it just so happens that you disagree on almost everything. Rants on first dates aren’t good, but they definitely happen.
9. Forgetting your date’s name
In this tinder age, we’re bombarded by so many different people, that slipping up in the name department is completely possible. It’s definitely the worst, but it can totally happen.