Looking through some boxes, I discovered the diaries I wrote in all throughout high school. I remember carrying those around constantly, writing my thoughts in as they came to me. Fearfully, I opened one of them up and began what I thought would be a hard and treacherous walk down memory lane, but it ended being a lot of fun. It’s important to remember what we were like to see how much we’ve evolved and I’m pretty sure that if you worked up the courage to dig these up, you’d learn a thing or two about yourself. Here’s a list of what you could learn.
1. Man, you were innocent.
Your grammar was probably off, your penmanship was infantile and it’s possible you used your SAT vocabulary book to sound more eloquent. In general, your mind was still becoming whole, and you still hadn’t gone through anything wildly life-altering. However, life seemed like it would fall apart if your crush or best friend were absent that day. We made mountains out of molehills then, and one can only help but feel a little nostalgic to think about when money, careers, and relationships weren’t as big a deal as they are now.
2. Whatever happened to that guy?
You wrote about him all the time. How pretty his eyes were and how perfectly his jet black hair would fall back into place every time her ran his fingers through it. You wrote about the cool leather jacket he wore (purchased at Hot Topic, of course) and how nice he smelled when he leaned over to ask if he could borrow a pen during history. You read about this guy and it’s like all of those puppy-love feelings come back and then you start to wonder how he’s doing, so you google him. Turns out he’s now a registered sex offender. Dodged a bullet there, huh?
3. Why were you so hard on yourself?
You felt ugly and fat most of the time, but when you look at pictures of yourself from way back when, you realize how amazing you looked and how freaking flawless you were. You feel a certain sadness for your teenage self and wish you could turn back time and tell her that she’s beautiful. You learn from this and you see the insecurities you have now in a new light and you tell yourself that you’re beautiful and enough, so that a few years down the line you won’t have the same sad feelings for you 20-something year old self.
4. You had more faith.
You went to church more and you really thought you’d be married by 25. You thought your entire life would be pretty much figured out by now and when you see that life still hasn’t really figured itself out, you get a little annoyed. Would I be somewhere else if I had remained a church goer? Maybe I just haven’t worked hard enough and that’s why I’m not where I want to be or maybe it just takes some of us a little more time to figure things out.
5. You’ve learned to deal with your insecurities.
Those teensy stretch marks on your inner thighs don’t make you cry anymore. The little birthmark near your bottom lip isn’t ugly. You’re no longer afraid to talk to strangers if you have to. You’ve shed many of your insecurities and the ones that remain are just not that serious anymore.
6. Why did you consider any of these people your friends?
Friends came and went all these years and after reading your own writing, you realize that the ones that left were a good riddance. You missed them so much when they abandoned you, but looking back, you realize how awesome your life has been without them. you don’t hate them, but you’re no longer yearning for their companionship. You’ve come to terms and that’s a great feeling.
7. You should write a diary again.
It may seem strange to write in a diary if you’re in your twenties, because it seems like such a kiddie thing to do, but writing is such an amazing outlet for expressing feelings. Many times as adults we suppress our feelings and carry them inside us until we explode, but writing could definitely help control high levels of emotional stress.
8. You’ll learn how to be a good parent one day.
Teenagers go through a lot. They go through changes, bullying because of those changes, academic challenges and annoying parents. Remembering what is was like for you, will help you ease up on your future teen.