Ah, being ghosted.
There’s nothing more wonderful than being completely ignored and treated as if you mean absolutely nothing. I mean it’s not like you’re a person who has feelings, amirite? Ok, so I’m obviously kidding. Being ghosted utterly sucks. There’s nothing positive that comes from it, because it’s one of those things in life that can drive you almost insane if you’re an over-thinker. Being ghosted makes you feel inadequate and unsure of yourself. It makes you lose faith in love and it makes you doubt if you’ll ever find your forever person.
We’re living in a time where it’s almost shameful to have feelings. I wish decency could be brought back to our dating culture, but it just seems that as time passes things will just get worse. We’re a numbed generation when it comes to honesty. Ghosting equates to dishonesty. It’s something cowardly people do when they’re afraid to admit that you didn’t meet their expectations. I’m not saying hearing the truth is any easier, but hearing the truth does bring you comfort rather than the whole just not knowing that ghosting brings. If you’ve been ghosted for the umpteenth time, chin up ma’dear! Your forever person is definitely somewhere, but in the meantime, don’t let this make you bitter.
You’re absolutely worth loving and you will not die alone. Don’t let a person’s lack of human decency make you do any of the things below.
1. Don’t text him/her.
The impulse to find out why is so real, but the truth is that if they haven’t responded to any of your texts after the date, they’re avoiding you. No one is THAT busy, no one decides to not look at their phone for days. They’re not into you and they’re absolutely ghosting you. Don’t waste perfectly good texting energy trying to contact them. Also, don’t harass them and tell them that they suck for ghosting. They’re simply not even worth your rant. If you do want to rant, write in a journal or call a good, supportive friend.
2. Don’t call him/her.
No answer to texts should get a follow-up call, right? NO! Wrong! Oh my gosh, don’t do that! Again, if they haven’t texted you back and it’s been days, just let it go. They’re not worthy of hearing your gorgeous voice, anyway. They’re not worth any words that are coming out of your mouth.
3. Don’t write sad Facebook statuses.
Facebook isn’t the best outlet for emotional rants, and more so if you’re thinking about sharing an emotional rant having to do with your dating life. If you want a pity party, go for it, but pity parties are for losers and you were just a victim of being ghosted. You’re not the loser in this situation, because you’re not the one who has decided to be a cunning.
4. Don’t cry.
Crying burns calories that this person is not even worth you burning. You can feel sad, but save your tears for when something truly horrible happens.
5. Don’t get mad.
If your reaction to being ghosted is more aggressive, punch a pillow. Don’t let this idiocy make you furrow your brow. Furrowing your brow causes wrinkles and you don’t need a wrinkle to form on your face to then become a constant reminder of this imbecile. Not worth it, babe!
6. Don’t go back to them if they try to come back.
Ghosters sometimes resurface, and when they do you feel compelled to give them another shot. To be honest, I wouldn’t. I think that if your relationship with this person started on the negative note that is ghosting, it will always be shadowed by that. Also, could you really trust this person if they weren’t able to provide you with any honesty from the beginning? I think not.
7. Don’t be an asshole if you run into them one day.
If you run into them and they say hello, say hello. Don’t let the fact that they didn’t have the courage to tell you that they didn’t like you turn you into someone mean and without manners. They probably won’t say hello, but if they did show them you’re a decent human.
8. Don’t dwell.
There are other fish in the sea! As cliché as that may sound, it’s true. This clearly wasn’t the person for you, so don’t stay on this subject for too long. Move on, date other people and enjoy life.
9. DO NOT LET THIS ROB YOU OF YOUR JOY!
So you’ve gotten ghosted a bunch of times. Who hasn’t though? This is just a part of dating, unfortunately. You have two options, deal with it some more until you find the right person to be with or don’t date at all. Not dating at all is obviously not an option, guys! Don’t let this new idea of normalcy bring you down. Don’t let it erase your smile and make you give up. You have a right to be bothered by it, but that feeling should be momentary. No one is worth you being sad all the time. Smile, live, and don’t fret. Love will find you.