We’re taught that men should make the first move. They’re the hunters, the conquerors, and we’re just little damsels waiting for Prince Charming. Let’s be real, that’s not the way it works anymore. These are, in my opinion, five reasons girls should take initiative when it comes to approaching men:
1. Guys are under so much pressure.
The pressure on men to make the first move is ridiculous. Put yourself in a dude’s shoes for a sec and think about how sucky it feels to get rejected. Terrible, huh? Guys are so much more prone to rejection than we are. All it takes for a girl to get a date or a free drink is a smile along with looking cute. If a guy smiles too much at girl, he’s deemed creepy almost immediately. Help a guy out and stir up the conversation first.
2. It does wonders for your confidence.
Not too long ago, I was in Manhattan hanging out with my best friend, when suddenly a guy I had been messaging with on a dating app passed by us in the street. He smiled at me, but continued to walk in the opposite direction. We hadn’t met before, but I knew it was him. I wanted to go up to him, but because I’m an introvert I felt like I couldn’t do it.
That same night, my best friend and I went into a bar and there he was! He was sitting by himself at the bar drinking Jameson. My bestie encouraged me to go, but I didn’t have the guts to. Then I thought to myself, If I don’t do this, I might regret it for the rest of my life. I went up to him and although we didn’t have a romantic connection, it was nice to talk to him.
My point is that I could’ve, stupidly, missed out on meeting the love of my life, because I was too shy to say hello. After I went up to say hi, I felt so proud of myself. I felt like I could take on the world and conquer it. Going up to guy and making the first move makes you feel confident and every guy I know will attest to the fact that it’s sexy AF.
3. Guys are allowed to be shy.
Some guys are introverts and have a harder time than others when it comes to making the first move. Again, the pressure that men are under to win over a woman’s heart is so huge. Guys are allowed to be shy and meek. If you’re a more confident, talkative person, why not make the first move? He may be dying to talk to you, but he may also be painfully shy.
4. It’s 2016.
We’re living in a modern era. A period in which women should feel comfortable in their own skin. A time where gender norms don’t mean as much. If you want to go up to a guy, do it. No one is judging and if they are, let them.
5. Regret is real.
When Hurricane Sandy hit NYC, there were massive problems with the MTA. Just a few subway lines were working and NYC was a complete mess. I had to take a train that I normally didn’t take to get home. The train was crowded and people were annoyed. I stood next to a guy on the train that smelled like Paco Rabanne’s 1 Million. Anyone that knows me can tell you that that particular scent is an intoxicating elixir for my sense of smell.
This guy was incredibly handsome. Tall, tan, and basically perfect. He kept smiling at me and I smiled at him too, but neither of us had the courage to talk to each other. I know this sounds dramatic, but every time I’m on that train I quietly hope I’ll run into him again. I’ve been on that train a million times since then, and I’ve never seen him.
Regret is real. I should’ve spoken to him, maybe cracked a joke about how terrible it was on that train, but I didn’t and I regret it.