10 Things You Learn When Falling For Someone Who Can’t Fall For You

Twenty20 / marcobertoliphotography
Twenty20 / marcobertoliphotography

The paradox of falling for someone was never defined. Accidentally, we feel, we try hard to be better versions of ourselves, we hope and then we hurt. But in the process of doing so, we have actually lived and loved.

It’s not wasted time to have fallen for someone.

Most of your friends will most likely tell you not to waste your time and energy to people who don’t treat you as such. In my opinion, it’s never wasted time. It’s actually time well spent. Why? There are so many things you will learn in the process of liking and spending time on someone. Things you will never have learned if you didn’t let yourself feel.

Acceptance is key.

Start accepting that both of you can never be. You are never the souls driven together by fate nor destiny nor chances. “Us” never existed. It was either only you or him. You are single entities, very independent of each other.

You shouldn’t have molded yourself into someone you can’t be.

You shouldn’t have groomed for him, but for yourself. You shouldn’t have given him more credit than that of yourself. You shouldn’t have seen yourself as someone he should like, but rather, someone you, yourself would love. Because if there’s one thing this experience will teach you it’s that one day the right guy will come along and love you for you and you won’t need to change a thing.

Maybe you are just results of bad timing.

Maybe priorities have taken place during the time you guys met and you never made it on the top, let alone on the list itself. Time is of the essence and maybe it’s not just for the both of you. You have conquered and lost time. Unfortunately, time never got the chance to make it through for the both of you.

If he likes you, you would know it.

You wouldn’t reach the extent of guessing and running around in circles just to follow his lead. You wouldn’t hang on by a tiny thread of hope and “what ifs”. You wouldn’t mislead yourself to thinking that he likes you just because he sends you messages or call you names. Trust me you would know.

Both of you aren’t spinning in the same world.

It will pierce your heart to realize that you are your own bodies rotating on your own axis having different time zones and revolving around your own sun. You are two different planets, in this vast galaxy.

Emotions are like memories, so fleeting and transient.

The intensity in feeling for someone, comes and goes. It’s never permanent. Which is why you should know that sooner or later, you will get over it. For most of it, it will give you a good laugh. A laugh that will better your heart, inch by inch, day by day. And you will realize how much you have come around since then.

Every hurt and every pain is a learning process.

You will never know much wiser you have become. Embrace the pain, because that’s what will make you better and more loveable. You may be scarred from all the heart aches, but you are not too broken not to function. Those broken pieces will make you whole again, and you will be able to love again.

If it’s meant to be, it will find its way.

No matter how jagged the road might become, if he’s meant for you, he will come back. As of now, don’t push things too far. If he isn’t there anymore, don’t chase him. Don’t chase love. Take a breath instead, and be ready for what destiny had in store for you. You will be surprised, but know that it will be worth it.

Letting go is inevitable but manageable.

Let go of what was and start holding on to what is. Let go of the grip that has been hurting your palms for so long. Trust the process. It will lead you to what life has on hold for you.

Above all else, learn to smile despite the pain. Learn to stand up despite being bruised. Life has more to offer. Don’t encompass yourself with the same old feelings. For the time being, be in love with yourself. You have yourself to impress, to please, to love and to chase. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve come out tougher and better. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog