What is a lie, if not the acceptance, and admittance of the opposite of what is true?
This is your time to be in a relationship if you want to. There is no one stopping you but you.
You can be in a relationship but first, you have to admit that you want one. In this post, I share with you how to get into a relationship with by shifting your mindset. I’ll cover how to let go of negative beliefs, and 3 actions that you can take today, to reposition your thinking and open your life for the relationship that you’ve always wanted.
One that is healthy, fulfilling and with the right person.
There is no reason on this earth why you shouldn’t want a relationship.
You can tell yourself, or others, that it’s not important to you. Shirk the idea of having one, when surrounded by friends, or colleagues. Fill every moment of your life with activities so you never has to feel alone, or bored.
You might even believe the common propaganda around relationships such as:
- They take up too much time
- They don’t last
- They are hard to get into, (or out of).
You might even be telling yourself that you’re too busy for a relationship, or that you’re focusing on your career. But none of these excuses are true. Love is your right. So even if you’ve denied it, the truth is, as I know it and you know it, deep down inside: you do want a relationship. And you deserve to have one.
What comes with a relationship is something that EVERYONE wants.
The validation from the love and acceptance of someone else. The focus of another person’s attention on you. The comfort and fulfillment of intimacy. And the excitement, and stimulation of desire when that desire is reciprocated.
A relationship isn’t just something you should want, it’s something that you deserve because love is your right. You were meant to have love in your life.
The idea that wanting a relationship is pathetic, or desperate, is just another lie that single people tell themselves to lessen the pain of not having one. The key here is perspective.
You should want a relationship in the same way that you want prosperity or wellness. To think of it any differently is to fall into the conditioned trap of comparison-itis.
It’s that sour grapes mentality. I don’t have it, so I must not need it, I don’t have it because it’s hard to get or worst of all… I don’t have a relationship because they’re stupid.
Maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and really, really do want a relationship and the awareness of how long you’ve wanted one, and not had one, is beyond frustrating. Everyone you know has a relationship, and somehow you failed to win the relationship lottery.
Consider the situation like this:
Imagine driving your dream car. Visualize the make and model. Feel your skin against the interior. See it parked outside of your home bright, shiny and new. Then imagine working your entire life for this car, while everyone else you know got the exact same make and model for their high school graduation.
That would suck, right?
That’s exactly what relationships can feel like sometimes. It’s as if some people are born into love the way that some are born into wealth. They just got lucky.
The good news is, you can get lucky too. Love can happen for you, in the form of a relationship, and faster than you ever imagined. You don’t have to spend any more time wanting a relationship, or wanting one and pretending that you don’t.
You can actually be in a relationship this year, month, or this week.. here is how.
Step One. Name it, and claim it
Whether you believe it or not, your words have power. King Solomon wrote often about the power of words. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”
Why make a desire that your words immediately deny you. If you want something, own it. Claim it. What are you afraid of? You know that you have complete control over the relationship that you get into.
If you want a relationship, you have to stop shrugging off the thought of one. Love is your right.
Admit to yourself that you want to be in a relationship with someone who deeply cares about you. It’s okay for you to be in a relationship. It’s ok for you to be loved. It’s your right.
Take a minute to let that acknowledgment sink in.
I get it… you don’t want the wrong relationship. You don’t want the negative things that have come with relationships in the past but this about this… Are you willing to accept a relationship that is less than you want?
Relationships are not a raffle. You don’t win one down at the local VFW. You choose to be in the relationship to which you find most fulfilling. You have COMPLETE control over the relationship that you get. If it’s not what you want, you don’t have to accept it.
Knowing this should empower you. Tell yourself that you want a relationship, tell yourself that you’re ready for a relationship. Retrain your brain to see a future relationship as a good thing by telling yourself you want one.
Step Two. Take inspired action
Here is a hard truth: being single is a choice.
It might not feel like one but there are several small decisions that have culminated into your singleness. Being single is a result. It’s every action that you’ve taken, over your many years, to create the moment that you’re in now.
The good news is that different actions can create different results. If you want a relationship, and you’re clear about that, what can you start doing now to make sure that you get different results?
What actions can you take to change your love life for the better. You’re reading this article. That’s a brilliant step. You’re taking measures into your own hands. I’m a firm believer that you don’t need to be different but you do need to act differently.
What I mean is, change your habits. Go new places. Take inspired action. If you have a feeling to go somewhere, speak to someone, or take an action that seems out of your comfort zone, do it. Remind yourself that if this isn’t something you would “normally” do, it might yield results that you don’t “normally” get.
Here is another hard truth: what you’re doing now isn’t working. Waiting for a relationship to come, instead of actively pursuing one is the fastest way to stay single.
Promise yourself that you’ll start to take inspired action. When you get that inner nudge that says, do it. Do it. There is an inner voice that knows exactly what you want and is calling you to say yes, when typically you would say no.
Listen. And take action.
Step Three. Measure it
There’s a popular business quote, “What gets measured gets managed.”
Wanting a committed relationship is a worthy goal, and like with any other goal, you should measure your progress. Measuring your progress is the only way to know if what you’re doing is working, or if you need to change course.
Take stock in where you are now and where you plan to be in the future. List a few milestones that would indicate progress. Such as: speaking to more people, going on a date a week, joining an online dating site, or setting up a Tinder account.
Measure the progress of every action you take.
Remember that the more people you meet, the better your chance of being in a relationship. If meeting a lot of new people isn’t what you’re after, you can still measure your progress by how you feel, how much fun you’re having or how easier the process is getting.
The process of getting into a relationship isn’t hard but it takes a shift in the way that you think about relationships in general. These actions can ease the process, and allow the right relationship to come to you quickly, but how long it actually takes is UP TO YOU.
Remember: You’re worth dating, and people like you.