An Ode To First Loves

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7 years ago, I still remembered the first time we met. I still remembered the first time we knew each other. That’s when there was a butterflies around my stomach & a smile on my face every single day. I had never felt this way. That’s when I told myself that I had fallen in love you. That’s when I told myself that I don’t wish to lose you. I still remembered those kiss you gave to me and the love. I felt truly blessed every single day. I still remembered those promises we made for each other. I still remembered those words you said that you won’t leave me and you love me. 7 years are not short period of time. 7 years with him a lot of obstacles whereby we had fights. We had been there together most of the time where there a lot of memories. Every moment we had & went through are still lingering on my mind up to this day.

He is the person who don’t really show his feelings but I still remembered every single thing when he surprised me a ring. A ring which symbolize our love whereby he made an effort for me. That point of day, I could not even hold my happy tears but to cry silently cause i found someone who complete me every single day.

As time goes by, things are not always better for us. We tend to fights a lot and everything. Ever since he changed his job, he tends to change too. I tend to be a person who paranoid as I’m afraid to lose him. The feeling of him quite close with his work friends (woman) made me afraid if he changes his feelings. On June 2016, that’s when he left. He left without telling me what went wrong. That’s when I told myself I’m not the best ever and I did not take care of him very well.

It’s been 6 months but up to this day, he still lingering on my mind and heart. It’s not easy to overcome everything alone without him by my side. Perhaps he had feeling for someone else now and I hope he will be happy with everything. I hope she is the person you find all this while. Sacrifices are the only thing I can do for now just to see him happy even the happiness is not with me anymore. Thank you for the 7 years. Thank you for making me loved for the 7 years. Its hurting me badly but I had always told myself, god is always there. I’m sorry for everything for the 7 years. You will always REMEMBERED, first love.