If I were to write a list of all the guys that I ever liked or loved (if the word applies), you will see one thing in common: they are not part of my closest circle of friends. Sure, I consider them as my friends but not the type that hangs-out every now and then. Not the type of friends your parents know by name and by face.
I made it a rule for me to never ever fall for a close friend. And then you came.
I didn’t want to accept it at first. The feeling scared me. I wanted to stay with what was familiar — something I was used to.
I used to like someone else a while back, and I kept convincing myself that it was still him. Because I was terrified of how much I could love you. You were so close to me and I was scared of risking that. Also, I didn’t want to give you the permission to hurt my feelings if I ever fell for you.
And, if I ever loved you, I wouldn’t want to give you broken pieces of myself. I was a mess back then. I knew I wasn’t ready.
But the feelings were so fucking persistent. You were so nice and you made me feel safe and comfortable. You gave me feelings that I never felt for anyone else that I thought I liked or even loved. You gave me pain and happiness both at the same time and you challenged me.
I didn’t ask for it but you found you way to my heart. I found myself wanting to be near you every day.
I loved your perfume and I loved how you smiled at me every time you looked at me. That smile made me want to risk it and embrace the feelings I have for you. It made me feel less scared.
So I risked it. And the best thing of it was that you feel the same. And boy, I’m so glad because you are so worth-it.
The transition came so natural. From friends to lovers. And I think that’s the best kind of love. You are so unaware but you know its there and you’re both happy.
And I thank the heavens, the Universe or whatever heavenly body might have intervened to lead us to this.