5 Smart Pieces Of Advice For The Girl Waiting By The Phone

“Am I in love? Yes, since I am waiting. The other one never waits. Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn’t wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late; but I always lose at this game. Whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time. The lover’s fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits.” Roland Barthes, “A Lover’s Discourse: Fragments”

I’ve always been the one who’s waits. Waiting for him to notice. Waiting for him to change. Waiting for the stars to align. 

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll also be the girl who keeps her calendar free, in case he comes over or wants to meet for a drink. It’s never planned. He says it’s more exciting being spontaneous. So you rearrange everything in your social calendar (and life) to make room for a just-in-case. 

An hour passes. And then two. And before you know it, you’re fast asleep, with phone in hand. He never calls. 

I used to be that girl, waiting by the phone. Busying myself with little things just to pass the time. Glancing at the phone, every once in a while. Going for a run with a mobile phone in hand, just in case he calls. But he never does. 

And then one day, reality called (sorry, just had to!). So to all the girls waiting by the phone, here’s what I’d call you to say. 

1. You shouldn’t have to fight so hard for something that’s meant to be yours

Don’t force something that wasn’t meant to be. It really doesn’t have to be that hard. Or complicated. If you’re fighting so hard to be a part of his life, maybe there isn’t space for you right now. Because he’s not willing to make space. Just remember that whatever’s meant to be will always, always find its way. 

2. You can’t sex someone into falling in love with you

I love you’s in bed don’t count. Sometimes sex is just that – sex. 

3. The right guy at the wrong time is the wrong guy

And that’s the honest truth. Because, if he really wanted you, he would be with you. No excuses. He would be calling you every other hour. Because what has reached you was never meant to miss you. And what has missed you, was never meant to reach you. 

4. Nothing has to remain the way it is if that’s not the way a person wants it to be

Stop wondering if he will ever choose you or if the relationship is going anywhere. If you have to question where the relationship is going, chances are he’s not ready to take it to the next level or any level for that matter. If a guy wants you, believe me, you’ll know. 

5. Not every one you fall in love with is ‘the one’

People come into your life for a reason, some for a season and others, a lifetime. When you’ve decided which one it is, you can decide which call you should be answering. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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