If there’s anything we want to find in life other than love, it would be home. No one tells us what we need to do to come home. No one tells us how the journey to finding home unfolds or even looks like. And no one tells us how to know that we’ve reached the destination. It’s almost like we’re looking for something, but we don’t know what we’re looking for. What if we spend our whole lives searching for something that doesn’t even exist? What if we get so lost in the notion that we fail to see that it’s right in front of us?
Maybe home is not a magical place we go to, it’s something we make with our own bare hands. What if home is not the place we grew up in, it’s the place we belong to. What if home is not the things that we are familiar with, it’s the things that know us. What if home is not where we find ourselves, it’s where we lose ourselves.
Maybe home is anything, but materialistic. Maybe it’s the feeling we get when we feel things are okay in the midst of everything chaotic and messy. Maybe it’s having a busy day at work, but not feeling stressed. Maybe it’s the feeling we get when we have a good night sleep the next morning. Maybe it’s the feeling we get when we’re alone dancing to our favorite song like no-one is watching because no one is watching. Maybe it’s the feeling we get on Christmas and on our birthday.
Maybe home is that something we carry around, maybe it’s that something that gives our lives meaning, maybe it’s that something that no one can take away from us.
Maybe home is where we feel good enough. Maybe it’s where we’re not too this or too little that. Maybe it’s where we feel our uniqueness as a person. Maybe it’s where all the things the world criticized us for are accepted, and the things people told us were unlovable about us are indeed loved. Maybe it’s where our past doesn’t define who we are. Maybe it’s where we’re seen beyond our physical appearance, mistakes, insecurities, and flaws.
Maybe home is the connections we build with others. Maybe it’s how we care for our loved ones. Maybe it’s the effort we make for others to show them how much they mean to us. Maybe it’s the times we go out of our way for someone’s happiness. Maybe it’s the situations when we need help and someone shows up. Maybe it’s the moments when our dog gets excited to see us or when a child runs to hug us. Maybe it’s knowing that someone out there gives a shit about us and that their life wouldn’t be the same without us. Maybe it’s the person we give our heart to. Or, maybe it’s that person looking back at us in the mirror every day.
And if we’ve been feeling homeless lately, maybe it’s because we haven’t been building our home.