I’m Sorry For The Way I Love You

love i'm sorry
paul b

I’m sorry for the way I love you. I’m sorry that I loved you too soon, too strongly, too innocently that I pushed you away. I’m sorry that my real love for you scared you away. I’m sorry my immediate commitment allowed you to take entitlement of my heart. I’m sorry my openness led you to think vulnerability is a given. I’m sorry I have no game, no hidden agenda, no revenge in mind. I’m sorry I gave you more than what you ask for. I’m sorry I never seem to match your investment. I’m sorry I forgive, I’m sorry I forget, I’m sorry that I lose. I’m sorry there’s nothing I would change about you. I’m sorry you don’t annoy me, not even when you’re an asshole. I’m sorry that I love you regardless.

I’m sorry for how I let things get out of hand. I’m sorry I lost myself in the way you made me feel. I’m sorry we became toxic for each-other. I’m sorry we were almost together, almost happy, almost perfect. I’m sorry that crazy is our momentum. I’m sorry I’m impulsive, impatient and indecisive. I’m sorry I believe in fairy tales. I’m sorry I expected you to give me what you don’t have. I’m sorry I asked you to be someone you don’t want to be. I’m sorry I wanted us to go somewhere that doesn’t exist.

I’m sorry for the way I hold on. I’m sorry I hugged you longer than I should have. I’m sorry I didn’t give-up on you. I’m sorry I didn’t let you go when it was easier then. I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you goodbye when I knew it was time. I’m sorry I didn’t give you space when you needed. I’m sorry I waited, wondered and wandered. I’m sorry I pressured you to have conversations you weren’t ready to have. I’m sorry I asked you to be honest with me when you were lying to yourself. I’m sorry I forced it, I’m sorry I fought it. I’m sorry I don’t understand your choices yet I don’t judge you for them. I’m sorry I have no idea who you are today, but I’m still here for you.

I’m sorry for the way I take care of you. I’m sorry I call and text you. I’m sorry I worry sick about you. I’m sorry I pray for you. I’m sorry I’ve got your back. I’m sorry I make you smile but not happy. I’m sorry I make you feel good but not safe. I’m sorry you don’t come home to me. I’m sorry I’m not the person you unpack your luggage with. I’m sorry I don’t look you in the eye and tell you how sexy, smart and beautiful you are. I’m sorry I don’t tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, how lucky I am to have you in my life.

I’m sorry I’m missing you, all of you.

I’m truly, deeply and honestly, sorry for everything. TC mark

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