1. Asking You to Stay.
In her head, all men leave. She wants you to stay but doesn’t know how to ask you to. Her dad always made her feel like he didn’t want to be there. And she’s the kind of person who wants kind love not forced love. She wants someone who chooses her out of desire not need. So, to her, if you want to stay, you will. She doesn’t need to ask you for such a thing because you will on your own if you really want to.
2. Trusting You Completely.
She’s been lied to before. Her dad told her that he won’t leave her this time. He told her that he’s a changed man. He told her he loved her. A day, a month and years passed by since last time she heard from him. She stopped believing words, she stopped believing excuses, she stopped believing. So it’s hard for her to trust you when the one man she should have no problem trusting was untrustworthy.
3. Letting You In.
She’s terrified that you will judge her like her dad did. That you will criticize her choices and the people in her life. That you will tell her she’s living life wrong. That you will tell her she’s not good enough. And that you will fail to see what makes her unique and disregard what makes her magical.
4. Crying In-front of You.
She doesn’t want you to see her vulnerable like that because she always kept her raw feelings about things to herself. Whenever she got emotional, her father would tell her that she was overreacting and that she needed to toughen-up. There were many times she cried herself to sleep because he wasn’t there and he wasn’t there to wipe her tears away. So she kept her pain and tears to herself ever since.
5. Depending On You.
She’s used to getting her shit done on her own. She doesn’t need you. And she doesn’t want to need you. She’s so used to taking care of herself that she forgets to let other people care for her. She was the one who everyone depended on, the one that everyone turned to in their darkest hour. So she doesn’t know how to count on you when the one man she counted on failed her over and over again.
6. Pretending Everything’s Okay.
She knows when something’s wrong. She feels the storm coming because she’s been there once too many times. Her dad made her an expert on reading through a man’s bullshit. So she sees through yours and she calls you out on it because to her, that’s how she’s standing for herself. That’s how she protects herself from falling for men like her dad.
7. Letting You Get Away With Shit.
Her past has taught her to stand-up for herself and never to let a man walk all over her. She’s not afraid to say it straight to your face. And she’s not afraid to leave you if nothing changes because she knows better than that.
8. Fixing You.
She doesn’t try to fit you in a picture perfect or make you into someone you are not. She has high expectations of you because she has a high expectation of herself, a high hope for her decision to choose you. She accepts you for who you are more than anyone you know because she understands that she can’t fix people, she can only love them.
9. Saying I Love You Even Though She Does.
She doesn’t say it but she surely shows it in the way she talks to you, in the way she touches you, in the way she forgives you, in the way she looks at you.