Empath…this is a new word for me because two or three years ago I didn’t know who I was, what that was or what it meant. I didn’t know how to qualify myself. All I knew is that I felt things deeply: when I was happy it was flooding my entire being and when I was heartbroken it was as if my soul was crushed in tiny million pieces and my chest was going to explode. I knew that whatever was going on with other people, I could feel it and related to them on a more intimate and emotional level. And then, one day, I stumbled upon this word and all of a sudden it all made sense. It was like finally getting a diagnosis to what I thought was a disease I was suffering from. And I thought to myself that perhaps now that I knew what it was, I could “cure” myself. And then few years down the road I read this statement out loud and I realize how wrong it was.
Being an empath is not a disease nor is it a curse. Sure it sucks to feel things ten folds. It sucks to feel pain with your entire being when other people just feel it with just one infinitesimal part of themselves. Sure it sucks to be constantly overthinking things, to be drunk in emotions to the point where the only thing that you feel can help you is to cry yourself to sleep, drink to oblivion or eat your feelings away. It does surely suck to fight depression every single day and navigate the highs and lows of feeling so much and not being able to get out of your head. It sucks some days. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. I have heard it all: “You should try to feel less”, “you should get thicker skin” and the occasional bully that would make fun of you when their words cut your soul so deep that your tears just start flowing.
I have had it all but in the midst of all this, in the midst of constantly asking why, I realized that God made me this way for a reason. He made me this way because it was the way He thought was the best for me to fulfill my purpose on this earth. As a woman, feeling so deep is a gift and my heart is my power: these are the bridges that connect me to the people I meet, I talk to and interact with. God gave me this big heart and ability to feel so deeply because that was the only way, as part of my vocation as a minister, I could touch souls. He designed this way because that is the only way I could be true and relatable as a blogger so that people could know that they are not the only ones going through peaks and valleys. I understood that there was nothing wrong with me except the perception the world had of me: that I felt “too much”. And you know what? it’s okay. it is okay because I will always be “too much” to the wrong people but to the right ones I’ll just be me; to God, I’ll always be His greatest miracle. And because this is the truth of who I truly am, I refuse to let this world change me or corrupt the gift I was given. I will love and feel fiercely because it is who I was created to be.
So to all my fellow empaths out there, don’t run from your gift: embrace it. Put a little color in this world and let your love heal those who say we are “too much” because they need it the most. And when it gets hard to keep moving because this society is trying to dim our light or make us feel bad about how we are, remember, you are God’s greatest miracle, created with a purpose that can only be manifested when you fully embrace the truth of who you are. And don’t worry if people don’t understand your heart or how deep your feelings run because one day, the world will thank us for being there and for being true to ourselves. Life might get tough at times but you, darling, are tougher.
Signed: a fellow empath, fearfully and wonderfully made by the most amazing God.