Some Very Important Things I’ve Learned From Being Single

“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
Priscilla Westra
Priscilla Westra

You always want to have someone who sends you good morning and good night text messages. It’s a way of telling you that you are the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing on his mind before he goes to sleep. You like someone who asks how your day was. Someone who opens the door for you, grabs your hand when you cross the road and makes sure you got home safe after a girls’ night out with friends.

That kind of person always wins your heart. You want someone who constantly compliments you like Aladdin compliments Jasmine and a love like Noah and Allie from The Notebook. You want to feel loved and special. You just simply love the idea of being in love, the kind of love you read in books and see in movies. I know because I, myself love the idea of love.

However, it’s a shame a lot of people think that being single is so boring and being in a relationship is the best part of life. You’re so afraid of being alone. You don’t like eating lunch by yourself because you think that makes you a loner. You think that being with someone will give your life a meaning. Sure it’s nice to have someone to cuddle with but let’s be honest, it’s not really a need. You love getting flowers on Valentine’s Day, having a fancy date on your Anniversary or even getting expensive piece of jewelry on your birthday. But really? Those sort of things make a human being happy?

One thing I’ve learned about life is, don’t let your happiness depend on someone else.
Dating a new one after a break up because you think that will make your moving-on stage a lot easier. Or going out every Friday night hoping you can find someone or a rebound. Why don’t you give yourself a break? Why don’t you enjoy being single for a while and try living life on your own terms? Take a moment to slow down, breathe and embrace the pain. Eventually everything will fall into place.

I’ve been single for years that I almost forgot what it’s like to be in a relationship. I sure am qualified to write an honest article about what I’ve learned from years of being single.

I learned that I can still enjoy life without a man in my life.
In my single years, I didn’t feel like I was sad or wishing I had someone. I didn’t even get to the point where I went desperate for a guy. Being single for a long time has taught me you can enjoy your own company. I love getting my me-time. This is when I get to date myself. Getting my hair done, eyebrows done, nails done, body massage, spa- all those girly stuff.

I love sitting in a coffee shop or going to my favorite restaurant and asking for a table for one. I like to shop alone and don’t like being rushed by anyone. I need time to think if I’m going to buy that expensive, nice top I like. And when I’m home I love embracing the sound of silence. It’s either I’m in bed reading a book or in my laptop working on my blog. Those simple things make me enjoy life, which leads me to the second point…

I mastered the art of loving myself.
This is when you don’t have to feel guilty about being selfish. I don’t really have to think about anything else rather than myself. I learned how to hug my flaws and love my imperfections. I learned not to compare yourself to others because we are beautiful in our own unique way. I promised not to settle for anything less than I deserve. I don’t need any man who has compilation of lies and bullsh*ts. It feels great when you don’t have to worry about a guy cheating on you. I sleep better at night.

I experienced freedom. A hunger to learn. This is the time when I can do whatever the hell I want to do without being able to ask for someone’s consent. I can go out on Friday nights easily when my friends invite me to without bothering anyone. You can always have an extra cheese in your burger or five sugars in your coffee without anyone judging you. You can wear that shorts you like without anyone telling you to change it because it’s too short.

You can travel to new places, meet new people, soak up new experiences, explore your interests and do things you love because there you’ll learn something about yourself you never knew about in the first place. Being in a relationship can sometimes restrain you or stop you from being at your best.

I built stronger relationships with my family and friends.
The people who are always on my side and I know will never leave no matter what. 5 years ago I wasn’t really close to anyone in the family but mum. I love mum, I can’t really imagine life without her. Dad’s working in different places when I was growing up so I didn’t really spend most of my childhood playing with him. Me and my brothers fought like cats and dogs.

We were so different in so many ways. But Almost 5 years of not being with anyone brought me closer to them. We go on adventures together and celebrate every special occasions. I love how we give each other a kiss every time we leave for work and another one when you get home after a long day at work. Those simple things with them bring the grandest of joys to my life. And I’m very fortunate to have beautiful friends who are always there. They are my sanity. They bring constant happiness to my life. And I’m so blessed to have them.

Personal Growth. Being single gives me the opportunity to look and re-discover myself. It’s about gaining self-confidence, stepping out of my comfort zone and discovering things I never thought I could do. It’s recognizing my mistakes and still loving myself anyway.

Don’t spend most of your time looking for a relationship. Use this time to learn more things about yourself, spend more time with your loved ones, identify the person you really want to be, set your priorities and reach your goals. You can still enjoy life and cherish every moment without any man in your life. Take this opportunity to do more of what makes you happy, so that you will feel even more ready when you go back into dating world.

I do believe in love. The butterflies in your stomach. The random I love you messages and I miss you phone calls. Movies and cuddles on rainy days. All those sort of stuff. I am so excited for the day I find the right one. I can’t wait for the day when I will get to experience everything with the right person- do things together and travel together. But as of now I will keep working on me to be a better me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog