I Used To Care Too Much About What You Thought

Not too long ago, I cared a lot.

Not too long ago, I wanted to know you enjoyed my company.

Not too long ago, I was desperately seeking your approval.

Not too long ago, I looked for approval in other people because I could never get it from you.

Not too long ago, I cried whenever you would belittle me.

Not too long ago, I would sit in my room wondering if it was my fault that you treated me the way you did.

Not too long ago, I would hold back my tears as you would walk by me and not speak.

Not too long ago, I developed an eating disorder when you told me I had gained weight.

Not too long ago, I could not speak up in meetings because I was afraid I was as unintelligent as you claimed.

Not too long ago, I could not tell the truth when my friends asked me if I was okay.

Not too long ago, I hesitated to kiss him because maybe I was the whore you told me I was.

Not too long ago, I saw the mirror as a picture of every flaw you had pointed out.

Not too long ago, I looked down at my plate rather than engage in conversation.

Not too long ago, I forced a smile whenever you told my friends they could do better.

Not too long ago, I was broken.

Not too long ago, I realized it was not me.

Not too long ago, I told you I love you but I am walking away.

Not too long ago, you realized this was about you.

Not too long ago, you realized your job was to protect me rather than destroy me.

Not too long ago, you realized it was too late.