You Were My Sweetest Downfall

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Kristina Paukshtite

I thought we were made inseparable. I thought we were made to love each other. I thought we could overcome every challenge we had to face. I thought we would have the happy ending that everybody was dreaming of. I guess I was just too hopeful for our love story to have a beautiful ending.

I met you at the time when I never thought I would. It was a precious moment, an unforgettable one, indeed. We were innocent and young, yet I already saw something special in you. When I was with you, there was no dull moment. That’s why we agreed to become best friends. We agreed to almost everything.

Years passed and you finally confessed your love for me. I did the same. We promised to wait for each other. I was not ready to enter a relationship that time because I still wanted to grow as a woman and pursue my goals. I guess you were too aggressive. We had different opinions.

Time was against us. I thought everything would fall into place when we exchanged our “I love you’s.” I guess I also had my shortcoming. I was afraid to fall so hard for you that I made a decision to send you love notes indicating how much I loved you that I was even willing to let you go.

We had our misunderstanding. There’s no perfect relationship. Yes, we were not officially together yet we acted like we were. It was probably bad timing that you had to fall in love with someone else. Imagine how our mutual understanding was affected when you and the one you chose over me became a couple. Was there something wrong about me that you chose to love her? I guess I was not able to give you everything you needed.

It was already late when I learned how deceiving you were. Your smile, your words, your love…everything. You chose to betray me. I trusted you but you wasted it. I treasured you because you were so precious to me. I knew that you deserved a love from a faithful person. I did my best but you did not do yours. I was simply not enough for you.

We did not have a beautiful ending. We had to say goodbye. I chose to forgive you because I deserved peace. I chose to let you go because I knew that I deserved someone better. Yet you chose to hate me when I decided to set you free. You don’t have to worry because I understood you. That moment was not painful for me because I chose to love you instead of hating you.

What happened between us was an answered prayer. Yes, throughout the years, I learned to be an optimist. I loved you so that I prayed for us. I asked God if we were meant for each other, then we would end up being together. It did not happen. It was God’s way of telling us that we had to part ways. We had to move on. We had to choose someone else because we were made to become best friends, not lovers.

It was not me who makes you happy now. I am still happy because I know that you already found your other half. You did not choose to love me again but I am thankful that I experienced that love. You were once everything to me, but now you’re my sweetest downfall. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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