To our Dearest Guests,
After 26 years of serving the community, “Nice Dumb Old Heart” closes its doors until further notice.
We, the Management, regret such drastic decision, make no mistakes. Yet it’s imperative for an ellipses to occur in the service to accomplish a total renovation of this establishment, before the damages (which have gone as deep as the foundations) are completely irreversible.
Many factors led to this precise moment, to this decision, to this retreat (it is a lost battle, not a lost war): awful HR policies, non-stop vandalism, and horrible security systems that let intruders wreck the installations inside out.
However, it’s completely necessary to set the record straight and say that we have had wonderful collaborators that respected and cared for this cherished institution. To them, we say thank you.
Thank you for remembering birthdays, favorite songs and for letting us stand in front of you in concerts because we’re shorter. Thank you for blocking the wind from hitting our faces when we were waiting to cross the street. Thank you for the cupcakes and the goodnight kisses you gave us when you thought we were asleep. Thank you for not hating us when we couldn’t appreciate you at the time. You are the ones that make us not lose faith in the market completely.
We struggled a bit with some re-branding issues that we came across when thinking of changing the name. Some alternatives arose such as “No more Miss Nice Girl”, “No, I don’t believe you will stop cheating on me” or “Fuck you and your mattress on the floor”, but the logos would be too long and the T-shirts wouldn’t hold that much text. Plus, we decided not to fall into a completely cynical state and chose to be proud to still be the “Nice Dumb Old Heart” we were from the beginning.
So, community, don’t despair just yet, because “Nice Dumb Old Heart” has always been known for being a non-stop fighter and for moving on no matter what the damages were (and will be). All it needs is to close its doors for an internal makeover, before starting again just like new.
Sincerely, from the bottom of our broken “Nice Dumb Old Heart”.
PS: We will, though, fire that bitch at HR.