Please, Please, Please, Date A Guy Who Smokes

Life is short. You should date a guy who smokes, because that shows that he really knows how to enjoy his life. He knows that following his impulses is something worthwhile – who cares about the banalities of life? No one knows if you’ll even survive tomorrow, so why think about mundane things with odd names (what the hell is a carcinoma)? Why even think at all? Sometimes it is better to just act in the heat of the moment, or your dreams might go up in smoke, and you can be sure that your man knows how important this is.

Date a guy who smokes, because he loves life and he loves you so much that he wants you to travel with him, in this life and into the next as well. Who will help you light up your life? That flame symbolizes his zest for life, and those 10 minutes where he goes missing at every event shows his mature confidence and his intense need for solitude. You know he is a real man, and nothing can bring him down (except maybe 3 days without a cigarette).

Date a guy who smokes, because he will offer you what he gives himself all the time – a fresh start to every day. That intensity and masculinity of burning tobacco, that whiff of coolness, seriousness and maturity is something nothing can mimic. Sure, alcohol can make you do stupid things, drugs can mess with your life, quitting school could get you a job frying burgers, but smoking can get you what none of those can – hot chicks! Once you light up, no girl will be able to resist this phallic symbol – this careless, crass and oh-so-irresistible stick that is in your mouth.

Date a guy who smokes, because who else will offer you his last cigarette? Such selfless acts are hard to find and behold! When you have started smoking as well, this becomes a mutual act of companionship and camaraderie – something which you can pass on to your children as well. Honestly, nothing beats lighting up as a family bonding event. Think about it – all of you are at a party and you are really bored. Dad says – “hey, wanna smoke a stick?” and the whole family streams out for 10 minutes of awesome nicotine relaxation! Even Intense family discussions can be eased with a simple cigarette (chill Dad, have a stick) and when the whole family does it, you won’t even notice any odd smells at home. The amazing, family bonding object that is a cigarette beats even monopoly as a binding glue of your family and your friends, and keeps families together – all you need to give is a few years of old age, and honestly, who needs old age?

So please date a guy who smokes, because you can tell he is confident enough to talk to people even with the possibility of yellowed teeth and bad breath.

Please date a guy who smokes, because he is so cool he attracts people with a flick of his lighter.

Please date a guy who smokes, because he’ll want to share his passion for lung cancer with you.

Finally, please do date a guy who smokes, because – frankly – who else would? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – Flickr / Elvert Barnes

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