5 Reasons Your Dumb Self Needs To Quit Being So Sensitive

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So you had a fight with your best friend, or the guy you’ve been into hasn’t returned your calls, or your mortal enemy at work got the promotion you’ve been working your ass off for, etc. and now you’re all miserable and inconsolable; you retreat, lick your wounds, and wallow in self pity.

Yes, we’re human and it’s only natural to feel hurt. But that doesn’t mean you should break down every time life hurls an unpleasant ball of reality. Now, if you’re the type who bruises like a peach, I recommend you drill in your mind / make into a mantra / have tattooed on your goddamn forehead these 5 practical points.

1. SHIT HAPPENS. GET OVER IT.

If you were under the impression that life is all la-dee-da and the term “rolling with the punches” meant settling for regular milk cause Starbucks ran out of the low-fat kind, then you are in for a ride you had no idea you signed up for. The fact of the matter is, life won’t go the way you want it to most of the time; and it sure as hell won’t wait for you to finish caterwauling on your bed while you shove a spoonful of Ben&Jerry every 30 seconds.

2. NOBODY LIKES A PERPETUAL WHINER.

Not even your family and closest friends. Of course, they’ll stick by you and listen to whatever you have to air out; but if it’s been 67 days, 15 hours, 43 seconds of hearing you whine nonstop about how much it hurts, how you’ll never move on, and how your life is totally ruined; I’m telling you, they’ll be the ones thinking about nooses to hang their necks on and cliffs to drop off of.

3. IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.

No, you’re not in some movie where the camera zooms in as you stand there in stunned silence and your eyes start to water. I know, I know, it’s your life; but that doesn’t mean everything that happens to you is about you, darling. He may have needed to do it cause he’s got his own set of issues, or she might have needed to express her long-time bottled up feelings. Whatever. Shrug it off and take it in stride. You really don’t have to take things so dramatically all the time.

4. DRAMA MAKES YOU UNPRODUCTIVE.

Think of how much time you spent brooding and getting all depressed over something you clearly have to let go of. Days, weeks, months you could have spent studying, traveling, meeting new people, or just chilling at home with a good book; but instead, got wasted by raping the replay button on Rihanna’s What Now. Life is short. This has been said literally millions of times already. Literally.

5. DESPERATION IS A STENCH.

And one that can be smelt a mile away. So unless you want to be some skunk people will veer away from, in fear of getting squirted with your negative vibe, then suck it up, soldier! Nobody wants to be around people who blow every single thing out of proportion. Why don’t you just keep calm and act like a cool cat? No? You’d rather be all pathetic and annoying? K.

I’m not saying you turn your heart to stone; I’m saying don’t be stupid enough to wear it on your sleeve. Okay, you might’ve been shaken real bad and you’re probably never gonna be the same; but you’re going to be just fine. Whatever happened won’t take away the awesome quirks that make you who you are. So just go with the flow, take a chill pill, make like the phoenix and get your ass out of the ashes; that kinda stuff. Okay? Okay.