I know this isn’t relatively new material; but nonetheless, I’d like to share my two cents on this interesting, albeit overrated, topic.
Let’s put two different paradigms into context.
He is polite, respectful, and very accommodating. This guy is the epitome of sensitivity; He texts you on a regular basis, he’s transparent about his whereabouts and the company he keeps, he’s never cocky or overconfident, he listens to you no matter how shallow or trivial your ramblings may be. In short: he puts you on a pedestal. And no matter how hard you rack your brains out, you just can’t find fault with this guy.
He is self-absorbed, arrogant, and smug. He is frustratingly inconsistent; one minute you’re wallowing in his attention, and the next thing you know, he makes you feel about as interesting as a desk lamp. Emotions are non-existent for this guy, he will never make you feel as if his life would substantially change if you disappear, he uses the word “I” so much, you’d be surprised if he blurted out a sentence that doesn’t start with it, he makes you feel inappropriate and irrelevant. This guy is a class-A dick.
When you put it this way, it’s a no-brainer as to who you should be with, right? right? So why does Exhibit B usually get the girl?
There are lots of possible reasons, and God knows so many people have their own theories; but I narrowed it down to three points.
It just feels natural that guys should be tough and apathetic; even if it means making you feel unloved and uncared for. So you justify by saying stuff like “yeah, I know he doesn’t call or text often, but when he does, that’s gotta mean he’s into me! after all, I’m still in his head even after 3 weeks of no communication, right? This is totally not a booty call.” In addition, because he rarely shows signs of concern, in the few times he does, it gets blown up magnanimously. Just like how a mom cries tears of joy because her slacker of a son got a D in Algebra.
Nice guys are usually associated with being spineless and weak; women definitely do not want to date someone like that (but they’d certainly do well in the friend zone) Women like guys who have confidence and swagger! Someone who reeks of self-assurance and strength. Even if it means he’s cocky, stubborn, and has a serious case of superiority complex.
What’s a better testament of love than having an egotistic player give up his partying and womanizing for you? Let’s face it, we like being the reason he changes for the better. We look at assholes and see a potential project; we can save him! The challenge spikes our interest and the next thing we know, we pour all our time and effort trying to change someone who’s clearly set in his ways.
And there you have it, my top 3 musings on why assholes are attractive.
On a side note, I think there’s a stage in a woman’s life when she’s highly susceptible to these kinds of mind games. But eventually, she should realize that when a guy is interested in a girl, he goes after her and does whatever it takes to win her over — even if he is a full blown a-hole. If he’s not, then he’s not; no use in making a fool out of yourself trying to make an honest man out of him.
Besides, any guy you need to bend over backwards for definitely isn’t worth the time of day. Women empowerment all the way, mofos!