There’s a certain type of Thought Catalog piece that gets teen and twenty-something girls all trigger-happy with that there “share” button. They are published many times a week, by many different—always female—authors, but they all center around one pivotal message: “You Deserve X.” The latest iteration was written by a woman with a man’s name, so when I saw the title “What The Person You Deserve Is Like,” I thought I was in for a satirical, funny, and sarcastic piece that made fun of this phenomenon. Alas, the you deserve X and Y and Z and this, that, and the other kept on coming, and as I got to the bottom my last hopes of reaching the punch line of the joke were obliterated as a young woman’s face was staring back at me.
I stopped to examine my own prejudice. I mean, as soon as I saw the male name next to an article about deserving stuff, I had assumed it to be funny and a parody. Asking myself why this was, I very soon reached a conclusion: Men never utter the sentiment, “I deserve X.” I have never heard a man say those words and mean them. A man saying it is about as unlikely as hearing a man say, “I’m so emotional right now” or even “I’m on my period.” The sentence, “I deserve someone who gives me chocolates, thinks I’m perfect, and makes me happy” (a boiled-down version of Kyle’s article) sounds like it was made for a shrill woman’s voice; when spoken in baritone it sounds truly bizarre.
A lot of advertising that targets women centers around this idea. Can you even imagine a “because you’re worth it” slogan for Gillette razors? So what is it about women and entitlement? Why is the feeling that one “deserves” things so inherently female?
First of all, I am not sure young women understand the concept of “deserving” something. To be deserving, in the male mind, is the outcome of having achieved something great or performed something well. When men do a good thing, accomplish a feat, or win at something, we see ourselves as being deserving of a prize or praise as a result of what we’ve done. When we work for an employer we see ourselves worthy of a salary. When we help someone out, we feel we deserve a “Thank you.” When we risk our life and limb to serve our country and do something valiant that’s above and beyond the call of duty, we feel we deserve a medal of honor. Indeed, for men, to deserve something is the result of having done something worthy.
For women it seems the concept is a little different. It appears women believe that they deserve things merely by virtue of existing. This is something that can be observed everywhere. Women often tell each other, you deserve better, you deserve a great guy, you deserve to be happy. For me—and, I believe, most other red-blooded males—this is an alien concept. Never have I had a male friend tell me, “You deserve better than her, you deserve a girl who treats you like a king, you deserve to be happy. The male mind doesn’t think, “I deserve to be happy, it’s my birthright”; it thinks, “What can I achieve so that happiness becomes more attainable for me?”
In the rare event that a man tells a friend, “You deserve a good girlfriend, good marriage, or a happy life” it never comes without a clearly articulated reason: You’re a good man, you’re working a lot to support your family, you’ve made a lot of sacrifices for your family, you’ve built a company from the ground, etc.” For women, that reason never comes. The difference seems to lie in the fact that men put something in and as a result they feel that they deserve what comes out of it; it’s a balanced equation. Women, on the other hand, don’t put anything in, yet they feel extremely deserving. For women, simply existing makes them feel worthy of being treated a certain way and being doted upon like royalty.
The thing is, though, that the male concept of deserving is congruent with the dictionary definition; it is, logically, the correct way of looking at it, whereas female deserving seems to factor out their own responsibility and accountability, thus turning it into a completely different concept. If everyone were worthy of things based on simply existing, the concept of being worthy is meaningless.
Female entitlement is most blatant in dating/relationships. Women not only expect, but feel they deserve, to be swept off their feet and have a man feed them with constant gratification, something that is very obvious in the article I mentioned before, the author gives absolutely no qualifiers as to why she, or any girl deserves any of this.
You deserve chocolate when you are cranky, a partner to indulge in your guilty television pleasures, and someone who tries to kiss you even though they just watched you puke up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is the person who laughs when you correct their grammar instead of getting mad, the one who knows they had better text you back, and the person who understands that you will not always have your “A game” out on display.
Imagine a man writing the above. It just doesn’t happen.
This is also evident in the fact that women are more likely to be on the political left. They’re big on receiving handouts and welfare. They don’t seem to have any qualms about taking other people’s money (child support), either.
But I don’t blame solely you gals for your gimme gimme gimme attitude and princess complexes; there’s a far more insidious perpetrator lurking everywhere. I’m talking, of course, about the White Knight. In this social-media era, these fellas are ruining it for every other man by gratifying women and inflating their already huge egos. A White Knight is the kind of guy that comments, “Wow girl, you’re so pretty, you’re a princess xoxoxo” on a girl’s most recent album of bikini pics on Facebook. He’s the kind of guy that showers girls with gifts, compliments, and attention whenever he can. He’s the kind of guy that will leave a comment below this piece about me being a misogynist, his fedora a modern equivalent of shining armor. White Knights are ruining things for themselves, too. As women’s egos inflate, their standards shoot up into space, leaving the White Knights worshiping them like celestial bodies but getting them nowhere closer to dat sweet gushy wet-wet they’re all secretly hankering after.
So what can be done about this? How can we get women down to Earth again? If we ever want to see female entitlement disappear, we need to stop giving women all that literally undeserved validation, gratification, and praise. It’s not hard; just don’t treat women differently because they have a pussy, and maybe turn the tables on them. Make them work a bit harder for the D.
To conclude, I am speaking directly to you, “Kyle,” if that is even your real name: What have you done to deserve “back rubs for no reason” and all those other little tidbits of entitlement?