The Best Slacker TV Boyfriend Of All Time

Beverly Hills, 90210: The Complete Series
Beverly Hills, 90210: The Complete Series

I’ve had exactly one slacker boyfriend (And that was in high school, so who’s counting that?). But my obsession with fictional slacker boyfriends runs deep. I love the way they don’t care about school or their future. I love the way they brood and how they take everything the wrong way. Way better than those lovesick puppy boyfriends who (occasionally) get romanticized.

Of course, if we’re talking Jack Dawson I’ll count him as a Slacker Boyfriend since he doesn’t have a job but he is also lovesick so who knows what I’m talking about.

In honor of Jordan Catalano, I mean, Jared Leto’s OSCAR nomination, here are my nominees for Best Slacker Boyfriend.

Jordan Catalano, My So-Called Life

Pacey Witter, Dawson’s Creek

Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars

Brian Hackett, Wings

Dylan McKay, Beverly Hills, 90210

Oh my gosh, this is all so sudden, so many great nominees to choose from.

First you have, man of the hour, Jordan Catalano, played by Jared Leto, whose long ombré hair rivals (and then beats to a bloody pulp) my own.

I think everyone watching My So-Called Life thought of themselves as Angela Chase (and subsequently wanted that Kool-aid red hair) so by default we had to love troubled and brooding Jordan Catalano. He was the boy to beat. He could lean up against a wall and stare in a way that would make you melt just to be near it. (I can’t imagine how Claire Danes got through filming with this Brood Master.)

Next up is my own personal favorite – but I’m of course not picking the winner here (ha ha) – Pacey Witter, played by Still Number One On My “List,” Joshua Jackson. Pacey had a troubling life and little to no direction. He could barely pass any of his classes and quickly became infatuated with having sex constantly. (How he and Joey didn’t bang on that boat all summer is beyond me.) And when the other love interest options are gay or, ugh, Dawson. Obviously Pacey wins your heart in a landslide. The fact that he hooks up with most of the main female characters is proof enough of his lothario status.

Oh Logan. Just like Dawson’s Creek, if you’re watching Veronica Mars and even thinking about Duncan, who barely has memorable facial features let alone personality or, god forbid, PIZ, you are doing it wrong. Logan’s passion for Veronica, sometimes (unfortunately) results in violence but his heart is always in the right place. Okay, it result in violence a LOT and I don’t agree with that but he’s so cute. He can quip with Veronica and he can also be so very dreamy and therefore he’s the perfect man. (Minus a bunch of points for dating that dentist’s daughter with the weird speaking voice from the carnival though. Ugh.)

Raise your hand if you ever watched Wings. (Okay, three people raised their hands but I’ll go on.) I watched Wings when it was on and also in morning reruns on USA. It seems like I was home sick from school a lot because I remember all the morning programming and LOVE Wings as a result. The object of my affection was, specifically, Brian Hackett, aka Steven Weber, a man I still have a crush on to this day. Brian was not a go-getter like his brother Joe. He just kind of let things happen around him and worked as little as possible. But he had awesome hair and wore ridiculous early 90s shirts and so he was my dream guy.

And, finally, rounding out our category is Dylan McKay from Beverly Hills, 90210. He, again, dated most of the female leads on that show, had TONS of personal tragedy in his life and cause to brood and also had too much freedom at a young age. Throwing in the horrible death of his wife played by Noxema girl Rebecca Gayheart and I’m sorry, but I think, yes, I’m ready to announce the winner.

The winner of the Best Slacker Boyfriend of TV awards goes to…Dylan McKay.

Luke Perry, if you’re out there, please feel free to swing by anytime and claim your award.

(That sounded dirtier than I intended.)

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