I’ll be the first to admit I love modern technology – I’m writing this on a laptop with my iPhone close at hand and my iPad within 10 feet of me. But some small joys and triumphs are ruined now because we have everything readily available at our fingertips. Here are just five of those little joys.
1. Bar Bets
I can’t say I’ve ever actually participated in a bar bet, exactly, but I HAVE been in bars in the age before we could call up IMDb at a moment’s notice. And let me tell you, debates over exact movie quotes or “what is this dude’s name we’re looking at right now?” just aren’t as fun nowadays. There’s no debate, there’s no high anger at your friends, and there are definitely no thrown drinks when someone doesn’t agree with you! Because we can prove it immediately! And what’s the fun in that?
2. Fan Letters to Movie Stars
Now, apparently you can still write letters to movie stars. But what’s the point when almost everyone is so accessible on twitter? It’s your birthday? Ask for a RT or birthday message and BAM! It might happen. Want to promote your short film just tag your favorite celeb in the tweet! The mystique of celebrities is all gone. We get pictures of them doing all the same things we do, we see 100s of interviews with them. Sometimes I just want to send away for an autographed photo, no questions asked. WHERE IS THE DIGNITY, ANYMORE?!
3. Paper Maps
I am very reliant on my Garmin and the Google Maps app on my phone. But when I was a kid I used to have to navigate via a paper map. (This isn’t a joke, I was often put in charge of figuring out where we were going in the car when I was a child.) And it is frustrating. Have you even looked at a paper map recently? It doesn’t even talk to you. So disappointing.
4. Developing Pics and Getting the Wrong Ones Back
Remember before there was a TV show that there was just a 1989 movie called Parenthood? Well, I loved it. And one of my favorite parts is when Martha Plimpton and Keanu Reeves have taken dirty photos of themselves and her mom, Dianne Wiest gets them instead, since she has the same last name. This kind of hilarity can’t ensue anymore since all of our photos pretty much exist on our phones. I guess you could still have the “Who’s Instagram photos did I get back from Walgreens?” thing if you and your mom both feel the need to print your selfies out. But that’s just not quite the same.
5. Prank Calls
Everyone’s favorite prankster, Bart Simpson loves a prank phone call. But ever since we got caller ID or the trusty *69 (so many missed joke opportunities – since this came out when I was naïve … and in middle school) the ability to hide who you are on a phone call has become further away from a real possibility. Now we can’t teach kids the ‘ol “is your refrigerator running?” or “Can I speak to Ms. Tinkle? Ivanna Tinkle.”