Presidents and NYC Subways

George W. Bush – M

The M is out of service every weekend for the next month. I’m not sure why but I think it has something to do with it needing another vacation to Camp David. Half of Brooklyn is screwed, and so is half the country.

Truman – NQR

Let’s be honest here. Truman dropped the bomb. So did your friend Jake, when he told you you’d have to take the Q to Avenue U for his housewarming party. Also, the NQR’s orange Formica seats and wooden paneling remind me of my Nana’s apartment, both which may have last been decorated in 1953.

Nixon – G

The G, if it’s running at all, may leave you stranded in Queens. The air is thick, the noises eerie and no one can give you directions. You’ll get home, but it will take longer than expected. Sounds like Vietnam to me.

Warren G. Harding – BD

The only use I have for the BD is to go to SoHo. I stare at the foreigners with their million dollar purchases and sigh, “Ah, the high life.” Harding enjoyed the high life too, regardless of the Prohibition laws. He also was involved with racketeering and gambling, had a mistress and may or may not have been food poisoned. Sounds like an average Saturday night in a SoHo loft to me.


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  • GuoxT

    oh damn sting Barack Obama

    • kitticow


    • Joey Camire

      Yeah, that one went over my head… Or was it under my feet?

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  • Natalie Sexton

    Damn… the m used to be great. When it was the V. and the 7 is awesome, you get a view of 5 points and it can take me from my school to LIC. Honestly, wtf is it about bryooklyn dissing queens? What are you, intimidated?

    • Noah Tourjee

      Well if he wasn't before he will be now!

  • Chase from LES

    Relax everybody…this is just a funny, satirical piece…made me laugh out loud…and I love Queens and Barack!

  • Pete

    Except Abe Lincoln wasn't “all the way on the left.” Abe Lincoln was a Republican…

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