1. Forgetting someone’s name because while they were introducing themselves you were busy being nervous and thinking about what you were going to respond with. Happens every single time.
2. Making a friend or acquaintance think that you’re mad at them or that you don’t like them because you’ve just been in your own head thinking about stuff instead of making small talk or checking up on them. This generally doesn’t happen with long-term friends because you’re comfortable around them (and they know your sometimes-awkward ways) but with new people you’re always aware that despite your intentions, you don’t always come off like the warmest person in the world.
3. Staying with the same hairdresser for years and years, even if they suck. You’ll sacrifice a little bit of beauty to not have to make small talk with a brand new person again.
4. Trying to figure out if it’s okay to say, “Good morning” and “How are you?” to the receptionist at your work every single day without ever delving deeper. She knows you don’t care how her day is going, you just want to walk from the elevator to your desk without it being awkward.
5. Screaming out a joke you thought would be funny when you thought everyone was in a silly mood, but the room suddenly going quiet because you misjudged the situation.
6. Going in for a hug you thought someone else initiated… but they were trying to give you a handshake or simply move past you or something.
7. Having a heart attack every single time your phone rings. If it’s someone you don’t know, WHO is it and WHAT do they want? If it’s a friend or a family member you assume someone you know died, why else would anyone call instead of text?
8. Botching goodbyes in general. Either drawing them out way too long or making a quick escape only to realize you’re going the same way as the person you were just talking to.
9. Accidentally brushing your friends hand while you walk down the street. Doing it four more times in an attempt to purposely NOT touch hands again.
10. Falling over for no reason at all.
11. Getting caught in a white lie you made up for the sole purpose of having one, tiny thing to have in common with the group of people you’re talking to, thus having something to contribute to the conversation.
12. Being informed, years and years later, that someone had a crush on you and you never knew it because you’re that dense about social behavior.
13. Talking out loud to yourself before realizing that you’re in a public place and no, it isn’t normal to wonder aloud which cheese is the most delicious while you’re at the grocery store.
14. Seeing someone on the street that you know, but don’t want to talk to. Having them catch you awkwardly jaywalking to get out of their line of vision.
15. Trying to discreetly take a selfie when you find yourself somewhere beautiful (a beach, a tourist location, a cool rooftop view) but inevitably making eye contact with someone walking by and winding up with a selfie of your “anxiety face.”
16. Canceling on an entire party because you don’t know anyone and the mutual friend you were going to go with cancels at the last minute. You wind up watching Netflix on the couch, but it still feels more fun than trying to find people to talk to all night.
17. Running out of phone battery in an inopportune time because you got to the bar first and you didn’t want to make small talk with anyone around you so you refreshed your Twitter feed for 20 minutes instead. There’s no better way to send out a “do not come up and talk to me” message, but you have to sacrifice your battery life for it.