This is for all the people in my life that have hindered my growth in one way or another.
Notice that I say all the people, not one person, so don’t worry this isn’t about you specifically. I know you think it’s all about you but rest assured, none of it is about you anymore. It’s about me from now on. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling sad and angry over you. I’ve spent even more time making excuses for you and explaining why you were necessary to my life.
But the thing is, you weren’t. You aren’t. At least not anymore.
Through all of my upset and anger, and remorse for feeling things so pitiful towards the ones I once deeply cared I decided to be grateful for you. No, really. Thank you. You guys were like my training wheels. I grew attached, I felt like I needed you to move forward, even though, admittedly, you really just slowed me down. I thought you were a part of my balance, but really you were just along for the ride long enough until I could find my own balance. I found it though, I found my balance. I can sit upright all on my own. So, you’re going to have to go. If that makes you upset then you should have worked harder to be necessary towards me, my success, and my well-being.
Alright, I’ll throw you a bone.
You were a little necessary to me and my success, but only because I needed to outgrow you in order to find my strength. The realization that I don’t need you anymore is just so liberating that it makes me laugh to think that I once thought I was doing the right thing by keeping you around. I feel like this is the part of my life like in the movies they’d have that really “wow” song that builds while the picture fades into the credits. Or like in Disney movies where the characters realize they’re in love but instead it’s just me realizing that I’m in love with my life now that you’re not in it.
You know what they say about learning to ride a bike. Once you learn, you’ll never forget. I’ll never forget how great it feels to have outgrown you. How amazing it feels to reverse every crappy thing you tried to convince me about myself and realize that you were just projecting yourself onto the liveliest thing that you could find. How wonderful it is that I can move forward without you, faster and smoother. There’s no rearview mirror on a bike either so I don’t even so much as have to look at what you’re doing now that your part in my life is behind me. All I have is the wind through my hair and the open road in front of me.
Also, I pedal really fast these days. So for your own safety, I’d stay out of my road. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the lessons and for wearing me down until I snapped. I feel like Forrest Gump running out of his leg braces. He turned out alright.
I’m sure I will too.