The most painful experiences in life almost always bring about the most beautiful lessons. As unfair as this world and life can feel sometimes – it is nothing if not balanced. I haven’t lived a long life compared to many, but this much I know, my heart hasn’t been broken so much as it has been smashed open and no matter how cold this world is, there’s no way for me to close it back up. There is no way for me to stop loving the way I do or to stop being who I am unless I somehow decide otherwise. I have wasted so much time trying to control the outcomes of certain situations. You can probably guess how many times I’ve succeeded and hopefully you’re laughing along with me from wherever you’re reading this because chances are you do this too.
So this is my official declaration of surrender. I am officially done trying to force things that are simply not meant to be and even more importantly, I am done wanting these things that are not meant for me. Letting go is so much easier than we make it out to be, it’s deciding what needs letting go that’s the real kicker. Time breeds attachment breeds familiarity breeds comfort, all of which are terrifying to let go of. But then again, we run around in circles wondering why we’re so unhappy and go back to what causes us pain just because it’s one of the few constants in life. I don’t want constant anymore, I want a real life – a living, breathing, changing, imperfect, and scary life. I don’t want to plan out the next day, week, year, five years of my life because let’s be real, none of these plans ever happen anyway and I find in hindsight that the universe knows me much better than I know myself. I’m done trying to change myself to fit someone else’s mold. I’m by no means perfect, but I think I’m pretty cool, and it took me a long time to think that. I have to say though that my life is a lot more fun with that mentality. I also surrender to my bad days, my bad moods, my anger and sadness, and any rejection of the human experience. What is it we’re all trying to be so perfect for? It’s not entirely ourselves and it’s not entirely each other either.
So I say we should all just surrender.