Dear Mr. ‘Right’,
If I could ask you one question and for once in your life you had to tell the truth, I’d want to know how you do it. How you don’t feel guilty about lying, cheating, and being overall just a horrible human being.
Now, that may sound a little harsh, but of all the words that I could use to describe you, I think the best one would be “loser.” That is the only word that total sums up who you are. A pathetic, low-life, two-timing loser who doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it.
To be fair, this is partially my fault. I had been warned, I knew what you were like. I knew that you had a past, but naïve me thought I could change you. Boy, was I wrong.
The lies — where to begin with the lies? Was any of it true? I’m starting to question it. You used to get mad at me for overthinking everything, but I had a right to. You were the reason I overthought everything. I never trusted you. You were sneaky. You said what I wanted to hear and used that to your advantage. You called me sweetheart or hun or babe (all of which I fucking hated, by the way), not out of endearment but because I wasn’t the only girl you were talking to and you were afraid you’d mess up and say the wrong name. Although it’s not something to be proud of, I applaud you for keeping up the act. Not once did you drop the ball. Not once did you make me question that I was the only one you had your eye one. But that’s what you wanted me to think. That’s what you wanted us all to think. You didn’t get personally attached to any of us because we were replaceable. If one caught on, you’d just move on to the next. This was all just a game to you. You make women fall for you and then move on like it’s nothing.
Like I said, this isn’t all your fault. I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I shouldn’t have taken you back the first time, and especially not the second, because you weren’t going to change, but I was too blind to see that. I felt bad for you; I felt bad for what you had gone through and actually thought you were going to turn your life around. And I was willing to help you. But you weren’t. You aren’t. Because the truth is guys like you don’t change. You are always going to be the same pathetic guy, and it’s not my job to fix you. But I felt like it was. I took on this huge responsibility that overwhelmed me, I was just too scared to tell you. I thought I could help dry your tears, when in reality, I couldn’t do a damn thing about them because you brought them on yourself.
The worst part about all this is that I am mad at myself for letting you have this effect on me. I’m mad that I think about everything that we have been through and yet didn’t realize all the red flags as they were happening. I am mad at myself for checking my phone every few minutes, secretly hoping that you will text me, because a part of me wants you to feel the same pain that I am going through. But you aren’t — you’ve moved on to your next victim. Who knows, maybe she’s your ‘one’; then again, you told me I was your ‘one’, liar.
I know this might be hard for you to believe, but contrary to the tears I shed, you didn’t break me. I will move on and be just fine because I know there is someone out there for me that is 10 times better than you are or will ever be. I tried so hard not to fall for you but I did, and I hate that. You weren’t ‘the one’, not even close, and deep down I knew that all along. Truthfully, I think I just liked your attention, not you. To say that I am too good for you is an understatement. I am WAY too good for you! You don’t deserve someone like me. I have a heart of gold and nothing but pure intentions and you took advantage of that. You knew that I wasn’t going to hurt you, and you loved having that power. The power to crush me and feel no guilt. Well, joke’s on you, I survived!
Do I regret you? I wish I did, but I don’t. Yes, I regret falling for your lies. I regret falling so fast. I regret opening up to you and telling you the things that I did because you didn’t deserve to know those things about me. However, you’ve taught me to raise my standards. So for that, I thank you. Now you’re just part of my past. You’re a lesson that I had to learn the hard way and has made me stronger because of it.
I’ve been told karma is a bitch, that this will all come back to bite you in the ass one day. I hope it does and I hope it stings, but a part of me knows it never will because you have done this before and nothing has happened. You don’t feel any remorse for the pain you’ve caused. I wish I could stay that I’m the last girl you’ll hurt, but I know I’m not, because liars like you will never change.
So all I can say is: Best of luck. Not to you, but to the girl who falls for you next.
Miss Better Off Without You