I will unapologetically ask for what I want- without the fear of being demanding, aggressive, or pushy.
The Reality of Asking
Asking for what I want is always nerve-racking- it could end relationships and damage my reputation. It makes me vulnerable and needy. I get shaken whenever I imagine myself being dubbed as ‘ambitious’ or ‘crazy’ just because I asked for what I want.
It used to bother me a lot until I just started asking and getting answers.
“Can you be specific with your intentions?” I just wanted to hang out because I just got off a breakup and I don’t think I’m ready for something serious yet.
“Why did I apply for this post?” Because I really want this job and I think I am qualified for this prior to my experience and my passion for this industry.
It will creep people out or impress them.
It’s so absurd that the standard scenario is I have to drop hints instead of straightly asking for what I want. What happens if they freak out? What if they mock me for being too ambitious? We are so used with going with the flow and maintaining this unknown situation for the sake of not being judged.
The truth is some people will still prefer courageous honesty over white lies.
I won’t impress people by going with the flow- the ones who gets impressed are the ones I least wanted to impress. Not asking for what you want even you really want it is self-destructive.
It’s just a waste of time to be looking for signs when I can just ask directly. So, why not?
I’ve realized that if you decided to genuinely ask for what you want, you’ll be ready to accept any decision. I do not get discouraged when I do not get what I the answer you wanted- I accept it, move on, and find something new that could work. It’s constructive criticism that helps me grow. When I started asking unapologetically, I started realizing what I really want and how badly I want to get it. I knew I shouldn’t be sorry.
‘No’ isn’t the worst scenario.
Worst isn’t receiving a no. The worst scenario is beating myself up thinking about it and not getting any answers. The worst scenario is me shouting and demanding to the void and making a fight in my own head. The worst scenario is not getting what I genuinely wanted because I fear being judged.