6 Things You Go Through After A Breakup

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

1. The calm after the storm. It’s the fresh part. It’s the minute after he tells you it’s not working anymore, he needs space, he doesn’t deserve your love, you’re too good for him and the worst & most painful reason of them all: he doesn’t want to hurt you anymore. You’re shocked, can’t contain your thoughts and feelings. Most girls would cry and go after the guy at once, begging him not to do it. Some would just cry. Some, well, they just snap out of it. If you know what I mean.

2. Rage of emotions. Here’s the part where you think you know exactly what to do already but to your dismay, you’re in big trouble & putting yourself in another situation where you’re just gonna get hurt all over again. Admit it, you want the relationship to survive but it won’t if you’re fighting alone. A big heads up to you dear, do yourself a favor, if you can already be smart enough to accept defeat here, you won’t have to go through the rest anymore. Don’t let your heart fool you and blind you, reality is right in front of you already.

3. It’s the end of the world. I told you, you shouldn’t have done it. You must not let yourself be controlled too much by your emotions especially when you’re very vulnerable. How’s that for a splash of cold water? But yeah, you’re here. Welcome to the end of the world. No more light as you can see. You cry yourself to sleep, you get sleepless nights too, you get drunk with your friends and you get the chance to fuck up your life. You’re back to square one. You’ve lost faith in everything you’ve ever believed in. Your pain is unbearable and if you could just cut it out of your system easily, you would. But you can’t. You have to feel the pain. You have to get hurt that much for you to realize how much you can handle & how strong of a person you really are. At the end of it all, you’re hurting but you’re also getting stronger.

4. Reality bites. Enough is enough. You’re exhausted and you just want to feel better so you start changing and adapting to reality. The reality that he’s not coming back anymore despite your unfailing efforts to win him back and your drunk phone calls & texts, of course. You’re excited to move on! You get a haircut, you go to the gym (or not? It’s not really easy to maintain this even if you’re in your normal state of mind), you go out with your friends & drink but with moderation and with the hope that you might just meet someone new. Lucky you, your new and improved self attracted the cute guy over the bar. Or maybe your friends set you up with this guy who’s been eyeing you ever since. Things are starting to look pretty awesome from here.

5. Finally, finally. You’ve accepted the fact that the relationship didn’t survive but you have to admit, the hope that you guys could piece everything back together is something you can never let go. Thing is, you are starting to move forward & you feel good about it. Somehow, you forget about that hope. You miss him, sure you do. You still think about him but the pain’s long gone. There might be a small chance that it still stings but since you’re stronger now, you know how to handle it already. You wake up smiling, you start believing again. You gained a new perspective about life & love and that is: you can do it if you really want it. You got hurt but you know it can’t stop you from loving again. It might be with the same person or a totally different one. And this time, you promise yourself you’ll do better. Like Ed Sheeran’s line “I will love you better now.”

6. Better, wiser, stronger. This is the hardest but most essential part. It may take years for you to be able to do this. You need this in your life so try to learn this. You received a message you never thought you’d get again. It’s a message from him. Confusions start to crawl back in. You wanted it but you also didn’t. You wanted it because you still love him. You didn’t want it because you don’t want to get hurt all over again. You didn’t want it because you’ve been through hell & it’s just gonna end up with him again? What’s the use of all the fucked up things you’ve been through then? How are you supposed to deal with this? The answer is only up to you. We may deal with very similar situations but we are all different. You are the only person who knows what you’re capable  of &  what can make you happy. Knowing yourself & loving yourself is the true meaning of a better you. It means that if you’re ready to fall in love again, you know being hurt is part of the whole package. The real test is not falling in love for the nth time; it’s how you handle the problems & the pain when it hits you. You may give him a chance, forgive him but that doesn’t mean forgetting what he did to you. That’s fair enough. Or you may also choose to ignore that message, continue moving forward and know that somewhere out there, someday, you’ll find another love. The love you deserve. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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