Why You Shouldn’t Compare Your Relationship To The Ones You See On Social Media

“You guys just broke up? But why? How? You guys looked so perfect in all the pictures on Facebook/Instagram! I can’t believe you broke up!” – the typical response of a friend who just found out you are now single, solo, partner-less, just got out of a relationship.

The truth is all these photos do NOT mean or describe the whole relationship. They are merely a reflection of a moment, not every moment.

We shouldn’t compare our relationships to others because we are all different. The more we try to be like that happy and cute couple who take pictures and post on Instagram everyday, the more we are focused on just taking that “cute” photo for the sake of posting something and showing others that you’re that happy and cute couple too. We forget the sense and gist of being with someone. It’s not all about looking cute and happy together. It’s about being ACTUALLY happy together.

But no, in the society nowadays just because someone doesn’t post anything on his or her social media, it automatically means that person is not doing anything interesting with his/her life. Just ‘cause a couple doesn’t post many hugging/kissing/public display affection kinda pictures, their relationship is boring and unhappy.

What’s with the society?! WE. ARE. The society. We are pressured to always show every single detail on Facebook. On snapchat. On Instagram. And for what? Just for the attention and that others know where and what you’re doing? Why do they matter so much? Why do they need to know? I understand that some times we just feel proud of our relationships and we want to publicize it to profess to the world that we are madly in love with our partners.

But some of us make ourselves believe we’re happy and tend to base our level of happiness on the number of likes we receive. These likes affect us psychologically and emotionally.

Just because someone changed their relationship status to in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re officially unbreakable. How many people have you seen changing their relationship status every other month, from single to in a relationship to its complicated back to single? And the cycle goes on. What truly validates your relationship is whether you truly care for and love each other, enough to make the relationship last. Not a Facebook status that would receive 100 likes. Some couples choose to privatize their relationship and it lasts so much longer than those published on Facebook.

Something we need to understand is that relationships are not supposed to be validated by social media. Just because someone posts a lovey-dovey, all cuddled up picture of them and their partner, it doesn’t mean they have a perfect relationship. There is no such thing as perfect relationships.

What we don’t see are the bad sides. The behind the scenes. The arguments. The disagreements, the flaws, the unwillingness to compromise on things. People don’t post everything especially the bad side of the relationship because that would be pathetic for everyone to see, now wouldn’t it be? Sure, there are really great relationships, but it is not healthy to have any flaws or arguments or fights. These imperfections are what strengthen a bond of a couple once they overcome them.

So next time you’re having a problem in your relationship, and you see other happy couples online- Do not assume that yours is a failure and you should end it because you think you’re unhappy. Do not think that you’re the opposite of that couple you liked the picture on Instagram. Instead, fix your problem. Communicate about it. Be a better partner. After all, a smile for a photo does not always equal to a smile on the inside.