Sometimes in life, we experience things we can only label as “setbacks”. They are oftentimes things that shake us to our core. We may feel lost, frustrated, or disappointed. Our brain may have a really hard time making sense of them. In reality, they are so much more than this. They’re a reason for change, a reason to dig deep within ourselves, a reason to stop and learn, a reason to be thankful, a reason to reflect. They’re a reason to grow.
We need to stop beating ourselves up over these setbacks and start viewing them as lessons, blessings, signs from the universe that it was not the right path for us. We need to ask ourselves questions like: What did I learn from this? How can I work on myself to change or correct my actions so I don’t make the same mistake twice? What did this setback teach me? We need to know and fully believe that something better is coming our way.
Over the 30 years of my life, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve allowed myself to wallow in the hurt and disappointment of feeling I failed from a setback. A job I didn’t get that I truly had my heart set on, an outgrown friendship I let go of, a broken heart over a relationship—but I didn’t allow myself to wallow in that hurt and disappointment for too long.
How can we overcome fear and disappointment when things don’t turn out the way we envision them to? Sometimes we have to create a new mindset for ourselves and our environment around us. We have to reevaluate, strategize, throw everything out and start over again, step away and look at the situation from a different angle. Bounce different ideas off people you trust and who fully support you (this helped me so much). Don’t be afraid to feel the negative thoughts and emotions, but don’t let it take your spark and light from the situation. Keep going, keep pushing, and let go a little! Things will fall into place the way they are truly supposed to! Write down your greatest achievements and successes. Don’t get too caught up on why this particular situation hasn’t worked out. Read and research—I mean this with so much spark and enthusiasm! You may find there are so many others out there who can truly relate and understand your challenges. Find someone you can look up to who has failed, but also succeeded. Let their story inspire you to look at things under a new light.
Right now, stop drowning in all the what ifs and what could have been. As time pushes us forward, when we slowly heal and let go, as new ideas blossom, as the right job falls into place, as new friendships and relationships form, we realize just how strong we are in overcoming those setbacks. When the right things start working out, we look back and give thanks for the wrong things happening.