woman standing in front of clear glass window

I Am Letting Go Of What I Once Thought Was Right

I am letting go of the thing that I thought was right.

For the longest time, I clung to this, thinking that I was doing the right thing. But if it was right, how come I lost myself in the process? How come I ended up getting hurt? How come I started to reject people who showed love? How come I died over and over again?

I couldn’t really say that it was love that I felt, because now that I am trying to look back, it doesn’t look like it was. Instead, I felt that it was out of obedience that I overstayed in that darkness. That I opted to constantly lose myself over the belief that I was doing the right thing. That someday, reasons for why I had to have myself get hurt by the person who was supposed to protect me will unfold. Turned out, I was waiting for nothing, and was only making myself more and more broken, not because I loved too much but because I obeyed too much.

It was that visit from my parents a few days ago that made me decide. If I were to go home and once again obey and pretend that it is the right thing to do or to be hedonistic and choose myself, happiness, and the one person I greatly and truly love.

As I sat in front of my lonely window, silently crying in an imminent heartbreak because of obedience, I decided to do otherwise. I finally decided to remove this ring—the ring that I thought symbolized the right thing. I decided to disobey tradition and family. I decided not to do the right thing. I am disobeying to fully emancipate myself from the dictates of my family and tradition. I am disobeying to permanently choose myself. I am disobeying to follow my heart and the whispers of my soul. I am disobeying to embrace happiness.

Most importantly, I am disobeying to be with the one I love most, that person who loves me more than anything or anyone in this world. That one person whom I don’t deserve but still opted to stay and love me wholly. That one person I want to spend my whole life with.

About the author
Found and madly in love with her soulmate. Follow Erika Grace on Instagram or read more articles from Erika Grace on Thought Catalog.

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