I have known myself to make calculated decisions. Though my work station may be cluttered, I plan the things I need to do by the detail. I work on schedules, have my own timeline on goals I ought to achieve. I’ve learned not to base my choices on impulse. Especially when it’s about my personal life. Like everybody else, I am a sucker for love, but is afraid to fall; afraid that I might get hurt; afraid to be on the losing end.
Until you came along. You made me fall in love. You made me realize that you cannot plan everything. That there are things bound to happen; that destiny can turn the tables around and make you not know yourself anymore because you’re far from the person that you knew back then. I suddenly started taking risks. Veering away from the girl who does not want to take risks.
I am now risking myself. I am here, falling for you without haste. Falling in love without thinking.
Falling in love knowing that at the end of this all, I might lose. That I might get stuck in the losing end. Here I am, exerting effort, investing time, imbued with emotions that could wreck me once you decide to leave. And yes here I am, hoping that this love would last. That this will have no end. That one day, I would wake up having you beside me.
That you would be the last thing I would see before bed. That you wouldn’t want to ever go away. That along the way we would not be able to hurt each other.
Yes, I am being naive. I am moving away from the sheltered world that I have known. Hoping that we would surpass everything. Hoping that you would hold my hand no matter what. Hoping that forever would exist with us. I am investing my everything on you. I will hold on to the promises you have made. That no matter what we will have each other. I’ll love you til the last of my days. And as much as I am afraid, I am willing to risk everything, for the hope to having you with me til my last breath.