To The Man I Cheated On My Husband With

I’d like you to know that I have done the right thing to do. It is to close this chapter of my life and choose to be with the most important people I could ever have in this lifetime. I was overwhelmed that after the deceit, the acceptance was still warm. The feelings faded, or was it just shoved off as I know that I had to walk away from the surreal world we created. Just like this, my head is still filled with questions that I know would never be answered. The what ifs that will never be realized. The promises that will never be fulfilled. All because, I have a ring and I needed to do the right thing.

From the start, I knew that what we have will face this bitter ending. Bitter is severely trivial to describe ending this dream. You were the man I have long dreamt of; the man I have envisioned when I was growing up; the man who could easily hold my heart; the man I hoped to spend the rest of my life with; the personification of the ideal; the hyperbole of a happy ending; the irony of life; the metaphor of true love; the simile of my sweetest dreams. Yet, I had to stop and wake up, and I must opt to do the right thing.

Every moment we shared was just so perfect. You were completing statements I was yet to say. I wish I could hold your hand all the time; I wish I could hug you just as tight; I wish I could love you the way you should be loved; I have longed to take care of you; To always be the reason behind your smile; To be the understanding partner you have always deserved; To be the perfect wife you could’ve woken up to everyday; but as the feeling grew bigger, the grave I made for my heart grew deeper. Thus, forcing me to do the right thing.

The inevitable happens for a reason. Most of the time, the reasons would be untold; it will remain unsaid or undiscovered until we do the right thing. I have yet to know the reason why we ran out of season; why he had to be in my life already; why you were able to steal my heart away; why it beated on a skipping pattern with you around. I had fallen so hard for you, I had to love you twice as much everyday, because I know that this will be our fate. That no matter how much we love, our love was destined to face this bitter ending. You snatched me from reality and made me feel much more alive. Life was sweeter having you in it. What we had was an enigma wrapped in a riddle; a pleasant surprise every time and all the time. It was destiny that brought us here, but I have to do the right thing.

I will forever hold on to the memory of you. I will forever treasure that in this lifetime, there was a time I had your eye. As much as I am dying inside, as much as I want to scream and cry, as much as destiny played with my heart, I will be endlessly grateful for having you, no matter how short lived it was. I will incessantly think of the what ifs; of the plans that never came to existence; I will eternally hold on to the thought that I had a dream come true in you. That someday, somewhere in this universe, you will be the right thing.