So I’m High-Maintenance…So What?

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visualspectrum / (

A few days ago I came across a few articles on low-maintenance women and how much “better” they are compared to high-maintenance ones. Even though I agree to some extent, it’s kind of getting on my nerves already.

Why, you ask?

Well, obviously I belong to the latter group—I have all the traits that are the complete opposite of those which these articles used to describe a low-maintenance woman. Let me lay down a list for reference purposes…

1. There is NO WAY IN HELL that a mere 10-15 minutes would be enough for me to get ready for a day or night out.

I need AT LEAST an hour to take a shower, get dressed, and do my makeup. I don’t know what kind of sorcery other girls do to be able to fix up and get out of the house in a fraction of the time I take.

2. I am NOT a light packer in ANY WAY.

I don’t know how in the world girls who bring a mid-sized backpack’s worth of luggage good for 5 days and 4 nights do what they do, and I don’t think I will ever find out, because I damn well can’t even get out of the house without lugging around a (most times unreasonably) big shoulder tote that weighs at least 2KG!

3. I can’t NOT go shopping regularly.

…and by regularly, I mean a ridiculously embarrassing frequency. Sometimes I’m convinced it’s actually a disease. Is there some type of medicine I can take for this?

4. I have a room full of clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, and beauty products, but there are still days when I am stumped about what to wear.

Just a shirt and jeans? OK, yeah … but I’d have to pick the right accessory for that. Hmm, which bag to use today? What makeup look to pull off? What do you mean, no jewelry!?

It takes a considerable amount of effort for me to be OK with not getting what I want.

I mean, OK, I can manage to deal with it because it’s proper human decorum and I don’t want to be a living, breathing friend repellent, but why would anyone be happy without getting what they want? That’s possible? Really?

OK, that list ended up much longer than I expected, but you get my drift. I am the antithesis of the low-maintenance woman, and yes, it grinds my gears that there is so much dislike for “my kind” on websites such as Elite Daily and BuzzFeed right now.

First, does it not cross the minds of people who hate on others for being high-maintenance that a person’s overly meticulous fashion sense could be a creative outlet the same way an extensive makeup routine could also be? I know that for a fact, because I do not wear makeup just for vanity purposes. I thoroughly enjoy the act of putting on makeup; to me, it’s like painting, except the canvas is my face. What about all those highly successful fashion designers and makeup artists—do you think they got to where they are now without reveling in all their high-maintenance glory? I don’t think they would have honed their talents so well if they didn’t spend the extra time, effort, and resources on dressing up and fixing up impeccably from the beginning.

Second, what about those seemingly rigid, bossy, self-centered, and go-getter Type A personalities—are their life stories and experiences not worthy of being taken into consideration? There are multiple studies on birth order in relation to one’s personality—should that not be given the time of day prior to judgment? I personally am an eldest child and I lived for seven years as the apple of my mother’s eye, and that’s even in addition to my current living situation of being countries apart from my immediate family and having to make major life decisions on my own. I’d like to attribute my difficulty conceding to those tidbits of my life story the same way other high-maintenance ladies most likely have major life events of their own that led them to being how they are now.

I absolutely hate that all those points are being disregarded; moreover, that it is being instilled in some people’s minds that being high-maintenance makes one a bad person and that they should be avoided as much as possible when choosing a romantic interest because they are more difficult to be with and presumably also more challenging to please (in more ways than one). Since when did love and romance become a search for the easiest partner to be with? Shouldn’t it be that if you truly love someone, you should accept them completely, flaws and all?

Underneath these so-called superficialities, high-maintenance women are still humans capable of feeling legitimate hurt emotions, too. Women are not categorized into “luxurious” and “economic”; we are not cars evaluated through criteria such as mileage, eco-friendliness, and durability, and we most certainly do not act the way we do for the sake of being more preferred by potential romantic partners. How would you like it if someone came at you for being low-maintenance, if someone judged your whole being for not taking the extra time to attend to yourself? For being too “go-with-the-flow” and easy to satisfy?

I’m not hating on low-maintenance women—being low-maintenance is their thing and I admire them for it, partly because I really don’t know how they do what they do. (Seriously—what the hell?) But this is my thing. This is how I am, and chances are this is how I always will be. Though that may not be everyone’s cup of tea, in the end, as long as you are not stepping on anyone’s rights or being totally obnoxious and insufferable, what matters is how happy you are with yourself—so if anyone berates you for being high-maintenance, tell them to talk to your fully accessorized and manicured hand. They don’t deserve a minute of your precious time (which you probably learned was precious from a designer timepiece or an expensive-ass phone, HA). Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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