Here’s To Everything That Can’t Be Fixed

Joshua Ness

Here’s to the days you wished to run far away, far away to be able to escape everything you don’t understand and everything you do but can’t accept.

Here’s to the days you couldn’t stop thinking about turning life around, going back to the mistakes you made and wishing that if only you could change them and undo them, you definitely would.

Here’s to the moments you can’t cry even though you want to, so bad. To the moments you have to put your brave face on with the hope that it becomes a reality that you’re actually okay but then realizing, pretending you’re doing good is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Here’s to the moments you want the pain to just stop. To the moments that bring you to a realization that nothing makes sense anymore and you don’t know where to go and you don’t have a choice but to face everything alone.

Here’s to the people who did you wrong. To the people who made you believe in lies and made you forget who you really are. To the people who destroyed you and made you lose your respect for yourself. To the people who told you they love you but left you when you needed them the most, time and time again.

Here’s to the people who pretended to care and see you when in reality, they will just destroy you. To the people who knew you were at your lowest of lows but still abused your vulnerability and took away what’s left of you for their own sake. To the people who know how broken you are and still made the choice to break you and tear you apart even more.

Here’s to the instances that you still care though you try your hardest not to and know that you shouldn’t. To the instances where you show your real self and let people see that you’re just human and not everything can be kept forever.

Here’s to the instances where you let yourself fall a little only to realize that you’re right about some things being too good to be true. To the instances you cave in, only to wake up the next day and see how broken you already are and how you contributed to it because you tried to believe again. Because you’d rather give in and get hurt than let yourself wonder what if.

Here’s to the love you will never forget, the love that consumed you, the love that killed you. To the love that made you feel scared, to the love that made you cry, to the love that exhausted you and made you lose yourself.

Here’s to the love you can’t keep up with, the love that broke you into a million pieces, the love that you thought made you but has kept you in the dark, blind and helpless. To the love that showed you why you never want to love again.

Here’s to everything that’s been said and done. To everything that changed.

To the everything that can never be fixed. To everything that must be left behind.

Here’s to coping up, to letting go, to moving on. To making the decision of starting again for a better you and only you.

Here’s to hoping that no one can hurt you again, break you again, make you believe in the lies of a selfish heart again.

Here’s to hoping that when time has healed you already, you’ll have the courage to face everything with a stronger heart, a lighter soul and a better mind.

Here’s to believing that not all people will do bad things to you and that you can always choose your battles, that bad things happen to good people always and it has the power to let them lose themselves.

Here’s to believing that one day, you will find something that will make you see why you had to go through everything you’ve been through and finally be able to tell yourself it was all worth it. TC mark

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